Getting to know you

Those of you who followed ‘A Rediscovered Life’ will know I love singing and I love lyrics and they sometimes convey all the things we can’t. This morning this is racing round my head…..

🎶Getting to know you, Getting to know all about you. Getting to like you, Getting to hope you like me. Getting to know you, Putting it my way, But nicely, You are precisely, My cup of tea. Getting to know you, Getting to know all about you. Getting to like you, Getting to hope you like me. 

Getting to know you, Putting it my way, But nicely, You are precisely, My cup of tea. Getting to know you, Getting to feel free and easy When I am with you, Getting to know what to say. Haven’t you noticed Suddenly I’m bright and breezy? Because of all the beautiful and new Things I’m learning about you Day by day.🎶

How difficult is it to get to know the real someone and how difficult is it to let someone know you? I think as an adult it’s really difficult but not impossible and we should get ourselves out there in the land of awkward and uncomfortable and try it more often. We say hello and shake hands, exchange names and possibly what we do and then what? Some people just freeze at that point as they are really not sure what to say.

Being British we are quite reserved but being adults and humans I think we are also really poor at trusting and believing anothers story and we create a persona for them without finding out the truth.  So, you manage to get past the initial awkwardness and start to build a relationship but them you are traumatised with when to give them more personal information about you. How much to tell? How much can you trust? What if they reject you? What if this new piece of information goes against you and they leave? Seriously? If we lived like this every day; in fact if you do live like to every day STOP IT! 

There are times in your life when you have to lay yourself naked to someone (that is metaphorically – do not do this at a meeting or on a date) and allow them to see all that you are, warts and all. If they then move on to speak to someone else it really doesn’t matter, if you never see them again, it really doesn’t matter, if they go away with a vision that you were too much, too weird, too loud, too quiet etc, again so what. You won’t see them again and their opinion of you doesn’t count one bit. The people that count are the ones that stay. We cannot get on with everyone we meet.

There are times when your gut and sometimes your heart tell you that this person is worth lying naked on the floor for and you say what you see, you are open and honest, you share everything about who you are and what you have to give and yet they step over you and move to another. This hurts I know. It also tells you nothing about how they feel. The only indication this gives you is that maybe they need to process the information, maybe they aren’t in the same place emotionally as you, maybe they are but haven’t the words. It does not reflect on you. You have no control over their thoughts, feelings or actions but you do have control of how you react.  You can let them go, you can call after them, you can pursue them like a mad person or you can give them space to consider how they feel. None of which are easy if your gut is screaming that this needs to be, but they are necessary.

You can only ever give you. You should only ever give you. Be honest and true then wait. If you are meant to spend time and energy with this person, maybe doing business with them, creating a new friendship or a bond for life, it will happen with or without you worrying. If you never put yourself out in that uncomfortable world of meeting people and telling them who you are you will always be the kid alone in the playground. Step up and be uncomfortable it may make a real difference in your life.


Never be scared of being you

The pressure to conform, look the part, wear the right designer clothes, have the latest gadgets, eat the trending foods is all total nonsense is it not? At what point did a law get issued that you can no longer be an individual with your own style, thoughts, dreams, ways of working? When was it decreed that if you be the person you want to be that you will be shunned from society and be made to live on the outskirts of your peers and never be given time or space with them again? 

It hasn’t been I hear you cry. 

So why are you following the crowds and being someone you will never comfortably be?

If you reading my blog you are clearly looking for more from your life. You know that there is more to you, to being, to impacting the earth whilst you are on it. If you did not you would mutter “mumbo jumbo nonsense” and put Jeremy Kyle back on the tv. This space I hold is for those who are never scared of standing out, lifting their heads above the parapet and shouting out louder than anyone else so they can be heard. Why? Because they are stroppy, wanting to be centre stage and feeling self important? No. They simply know who they are and want to share themselves and all that they have to give, to others.

So why are you fighting with yourself? Why are you constantly wrestling with the conflict of being more than one person? Forcing a square peg into a round hole we all know is stupid, exhausting, time wasting and will always be a poor fit and a really bad choice, so why do it? You my friend are a beautiful, talented, gifted and generous square peg. Celebrate it. Love it. Love you. Give you, the square peg to the world. If they cannot see to make a square for you to fit into then you not meant to be there, wish them well and move on.

I am very much Claire shaped and I have discovered that fits in many, many fabulous spaces and people who see my value to their life always make space for me to be me in it. If they don’t am I upset, hurt, distraught, traumatised? Not any more. I accept that their space is not meant for me and wish them good day with my love and blessings. I’m no longer scared of being me. What about you?

Releasing the energy

It is a scientific fact that we are made up of energy. Everything is made from atoms, atoms are energy, therefore we are energy. When you think of us like that, fast, feisty, always moving, bouncing, being in contact with everything else that is also made of energy, does it give you a completely different vision of yourself. It does me and I will try and explain why. I am a very visual person so see, talk, hear in pictures. Other people are biased towards their other senses I realise that so will try and do this the best way I can. 

If I look at who I was, I see that my energy was low, I was sluggish, mindlessly bumping through life and with no interaction with others as I’d built a box, a wall, a barrier that I didn’t allow my energy to permeate. Today I am made of fast moving atoms, zipping around fast, darting from place to place, bouncing, hot, firey, touching everything and everyone they can to give and receive more energy. 

Yesterday I learnt that I can expand the distance I put my energy and so like ripples on a pond, or waves on the ocean I can expand how far my energy extends. I felt, I visualised my energy and I pushed it further away as I breathed. I have allowed my energy, my fire, my passion, me, to go beyond the boundaries I’d previously set and am allowing it to interact freely with that of another. It’s a powerful feeling. To allow yourself that freedom, that interaction, that sense of being much, much larger than just you is, for me right now, indescribable, I can only say it’s the hugest feeling I’ve experienced. 

It allows me to give another human being something they are lacking, will gain from, will then pass to another. Imagine that chain reaction as I pass my energy to one who in time feels it, understands they too can do the same and then does. Awesome. I can do little to influence religion, policitics, media, the decision making of others but if I can teach just one person to love, firstly themselves and then others, what a huge impact that can make in our world.

My gift is healing, my purpose is to heal and make a difference to another persons life, my mission is to do it in a way where people grow, develop, learn compassion and love for themselves and then reach out to others and do the same. My days are numbered like everyone’s but energy never leaves the earth…..

At the end of the day

I normally write my blogs from my morning meditations but on a Wednesday I have an early networking meeting so don’t get chance until the end of the day. It feels quite different working the other way round but today I am overflowing with so much happiness and gratitude I couldn’t contain myself until tomorrow morning.Are you able to recall that feeling you got as a child at Christmas or on your birthday where it felt like the days were never ending, the excitement was so huge it filled the world and you were that giddy you could hardly stand up never mind stand still. Or maybe the feeling when as a teenager you met your first love or fancied someone in your class and every time you saw them your heart would skip a beat and you’d feel flustered. That excitement and emotion is filling me today and more importantly it is starting to feel like this every day. By the time bedtime looms I could fill an entire book with the gratitude I feel. 

This is so far from where I have been so indulge me for being so damn happy. I even make myself nauseous with my own happiness some days ! I wish I could bottle this and give it away to anyone who needed a brighter day. I seriously have enough to share.

If any one of you is having a bad time right now please believe me when I say that with courage to change your situation, surrounding yourself with people who care for you, are positive and want you in a better place, developing and taking time to work on and look after you and being honest with people on where you are, how you feel and what you need from them you WILL get to a place where you are happy. You WILL move from your shadow to your sunshine. Finding and loving yourself is the most important thing and don’t torment yourself with what ifs and maybes or suggesting that you don’t deserve time to be given to you. Only those who don’t care about you would give you those thoughts!

There are certain people in my life right this second who I can never say enough thank you’s to. There are those who have stepped up on my darkest days and those who have brought and still bring me sunshine. There are old friends and new and they are all part of the me I found again and if you lift your eyes, hold out your hand I promise someone will step forward and hold it. In fact mine is stretched right out and ready for yours to be placed in it….. Reach. It’s not that far. 

The written word 

We often hide behind our words, particularly now many, many conversations are done by text. A dangerous way to have a conversation as it can lead to confusion and mistrust and can lead to people who mean a lot to each other falling out in a bad way. Why do we rely so much on text rather than actual speech nowadays?

There are so many beautiful words in our language. Words that flow off our tongues and give another heart, hope, peace, reassurance or answers. Many, many years ago I received a love letter, handwritten, full of thought, love, emotion and written with care and attention and to express a feeling that is really difficult to write down. We were a long distance apart and mobiles were in their infancy so it was this or a landline (remember those!). Although the love didn’t last the letter did as it was such a beautiful thing to receive and I still have it to this day, no attachment to the person but their emotion at that moment in time is captured forever and it’s precious.

I may be a dinosaur in a fast moving technological world but I love the idea of someone sat with a pen and paper, releasing their feelings and emotional connection to another onto paper and that person reading it and feeling those emotions releasing themselves from the page to their heart. It’s a beautiful vision. 

We’ve lost the art of letter writing. I remember as a child being made to sit down after birthdays and Christmas to write thank you notes to those who had sent gifts. Nowadays, if the child is even reminded to send thanks, they will probably pick up their own mobile or iPad and send a short “thanks for the present” with little thought and sadly even little knowledge of what the gift was. Now I know this is probably a cynical statement and I am sat hopeful that this is the minority but it is reality in today’s world. I’m old fashioned and like a child with manners.

The written word can act as therapy or release and I know that when I’m having a bad day or feel a bit cross I write it down and if it’s a person that I have allowed to make me feel this way I write them a letter expressing myself. Rarely is there a need to actually send it and it ends up in the bin when I realise how unimportant me feeling that way is, but the actual writing has released the pain, hurt or anger and it’s passed. In fact the need to express myself is where my blogging came from, beginning with ‘A Redicovered Life’. 

It’s cathartic to sit and let words flow and worth trying if you haven’t done so yet. People have so much to say, so much to offer the world that stays locked up inside because they are either too afraid to let words go or don’t know how. The only advice I can give is to simply begin. Write one word, one sentence and see where they take you. They may take you to magical places, across the seas, in amongst the stars, to the heart of someone you love or right back to you.

A challenge! Find yourself a pen and paper today and begin….. Let those words out, let those emotions flow, say what needs to be said and enjoy the journey those words will take you on.

Touch the sky with your hands

At what point in your life did you stop dreaming? Was it when the bullies taunted you at school? When those around you told you people like you never get anywhere? Or was it when you got married? Had children? When you got knocked back for the third time for a job you rally wanted? Yesterday?

Whenever it was you can still live that dream and touch the sky with your hands. Why not? It’s your life after all so the only person saying you can’t do that now is you. We put off so much in our lives with the excuses of I don’t have time, it doesn’t matter, it’s not really for me, it will take too much time/effort/money….. The list is endless. 

If you don’t make you a priority what are the consequences? I can already hear you saying but that really selfish! No it is not! If you don’t love yourself, give yourself what you need what use are you to anyone else. A little part of you will always be in your dream, on a bad day you will always go there for sanity and then get frustrated that you aren’t there for real and take another step in that spiral towards mediocrity. 

If you don’t make a priority of yourself what have you got to give? I have loads I hear you cry! I would do anything for anyone! Get real, that is not sustainable. At some point you will drain yourself totally of any energy you possess and stop giving or give only with resentment.

If you don’t make you a priority how will you feel at the end of your life as you look back, as there is no forward to look to. 

If you become the best version of yourself you have everything to give. You have energy, dreams, desire to do, time, space, momentum, laughter, a smile to give away, a touch to brighten someone else’s day, patience, freedom to think, love. The list is almost endless because whatever you want to give away you have with plenty left inside because making you a priority continually tops up your personal reserves.

Try it this week, in fact why wait, try it today. It’s Monday and people tend to struggle to motivate themselves to get to work after a lovely weekend so take some time for you to listen to music, read a few pages of your favourite book, hold hands with the person you love or speak to them on the phone if they are away, play with your children for an extra few minutes and never mind the washing up. Do something fun, do something you want to do and fill yourself up. Touch that sky with your hands, it’s really not that far away.

The fear of fully letting go

The closest I have ever experienced total freedom was jumping from a plane at 14000 feet. You would perhaps expect the noise of wind rushing as you drop through the skies but there is nothing but silence. No sense of the speed you are falling. You are looking down on the world and can see it from a whole new perspective.

With two feet firmly on the floor I struggle letting go. I will always hold back a little bit of me, a bit like having £1000 and keeping £100 in the safe at all times for those moments where you may need it. Self preservation maybe? That’s not being free as that would mean getting down to the last penny and giving that to a stranger.

I am very trusting and I take people at face value and they invariably let me down hence the £100 reserve so how do you give away everything? Faith is all I have in answer to that. I don’t necessarily mean a religious faith, more of a faith that someone somewhere has always got your back. That may be a physical body or not. You have to trust that all you do will effect all that comes back to you. Therefore who you are, what you do, how you talk and care for people is everything you will get in return. Knowing this I look at where I have been and realise that me holding back my percentage for self preservation is telling the world ‘be careful she won’t give you her all’. That’s not being trustworthy, thats being reserved, it’s holding back, it’s hiding. People move on and leave a sense of letting you down but that’s not so, they are just taking their £100 with them.

You also need to realise that not everyone is meant to be in your life and therefore even if you have kept nothing back and you have laid yourself at their feet, naked, for them that may be too much and they aren’t ready to do the same. If they are meant to stay they will. They may hover in the background whilst they tussle with giving their last penny away but if it’s meant to be given to you they will step forward.

I need to sometimes take myself back to that leap of faith I made at 14000 feet  and experience the silence, the stillness, the different viewpoint to remember the emotions and then let them run free. 

I am down to my last penny and I know I want to give it away but oh my word it’s scary. At what price is the final penny? I will never know if I keep it in my pocket.

Look up, summers come

I have spent pretty much my whole life wanting to know what was coming next in life. So focused on the future and it’s possibilities that I’ve missed spring and much of summer. The last few days have shown me that I need to look up not forward. What I have here and now is here to enjoy, nurture, enjoy, live in. What happens tomorrow is all related to what I do and how I live today, this morning, now.

I know what I want for tomorrow and I’ve put that out to the universe, I don’t need confirmation I just need faith that it will be. I finally have that faith and it’s massively empowering.  In your life have you ever wanted something so bad that all your focus went to working towards it then one day you realised your wishes? That is exactly what I’m talking about.

I am so blessed to be living in this life, right here, right now. To know that sleeping upstairs I have a son who is kind, caring, loving, bright, fearless and many miles away I have a daughter who is living her dream, intelligent, wise, loving and beautiful is proof itself. I am creating my business, shaping it daily, working hard, growing it with my own hard work and determination and support from people who mean so much to me. I am loved. 

We get into patterns of living, always wishing for more, always wanting the next best thing, always wanting to know if there is more out there for us that we forget to appreciate what is happening right here, right now. If we are meant to travel, cross continents, meet new people, have new adventures then they will happen whether we plan them in or not but if we spend our days searching for them, working out how best to get them and being so focused on the end result that we will wake one day to find its winter and we missed it all. All that we’ve done, achieved, loved and laughed in, we have only been a spectator to. We have missed out on being the main player in our own lives and it’s gone.

I’m not suggesting we don’t dream, I’m not suggesting we don’t wish for better, for more, for love, for new, for exciting, for good health, for all that we as human beings desire. I am suggesting you look at today, now, who you are with, what you are doing, where you are and appreciate all that you see, feel, smell, taste and touch. It’s called life and it’s short and we mustn’t waste a single second by wanting more and not being grateful for what we already have. Your future will come and your future will be what it will be. It’s not easy but by bringing yourself back to the now when you find yourself wandering will eventually become second nature and you will be truly living the moment.

Thank goodness I realised before Autumn or winter came and I’d wasted all the seasons in my life.

Inspirational blindness

What a week of meeting people who make a massive impact on me. Yesterday I listened to a lady who spoke but didn’t hear her own words like we did. She spoke with such confidence about her plans, with such passion about why she wanted to achieve them and swiftly followed her ideas with comments similar to ‘I don’t know my purpose in life’.Oh my how blind we can be sometimes. This lady is an amazing speaker, a teacher, and a facilitator and has no idea how inspirational she is to those around her, those that work for her and those who simply sit on the sidelines and listen. I wanted to record her words and play them back to her and ask her to listen to the woman on there as she was clearly a different woman to the one she sees in the mirror. 

We can become so focused on the busy that we don’t see the achievement sometimes. We see the long hours, the hard work, the effort, the time away from doing things we think we should be doing. STOP. If you are spending so much time and effort on something your heart believes in, it is exactly what you are meant to be doing, it’s your role, your purpose, your passion. Enjoy the work because it will be providing others with more than they could ever achieve by themselves.

Why do we get so fixated on job title? Without a title people think they have no job, no role. Title does not mean purpose. A title is simply a label to categorise us easily in someone else’s mind. What you do and how you do it and the impact on others is your purpose and you will know if it’s the right one for you. Enjoy it, be thankful every day that you have something to offer the world and congratulate yourself on the way for recognising you have a purpose and then carrying it out. Don’t focus on what you haven’t done yet, appreciate what you have already created.

It is sometimes better if you don’t question. Accept. If you constantly strive and focus on how you will achieve something, the answer evades you. If you have an idea and your heart and your gut are telling you this is what you need to do, simply begin in the faith that you will work it out. If you procrastinate it will pass you by and someone else will achieve it or even worse it will never exist except in your head, think of the impact this would have to the people who need your work most. If it’s a business opportunity what’s to lose by trying? If it’s something you are passionate about at least you will enjoy the journey. Yes it may twist and turn and head in directions you didn’t plan for but its your path and all you have to do is follow it. Have faith.

Curve ball damage

Tell me how is it possible that life can be going along very nicely thank you and one small, insignificant happening throws your head into chaos? The peace you had, the order, the emotional resonance that was still, is all suddenly thrown into chaos. 

The universe sends us curve balls. You hardly ever see them, you certainly never expect them and they can hit you really hard as the speed is set for warp. Curve balls don’t have to be bad things and on this occasion it is far from that but it does bring energy, chaos, new thoughts, emotions, noise and for what? To damage? To hurt? To wake me up? To take me away from safety and to make me feel alive? I have no idea whether it’s all, some or none of those but this one surely managed some of these.

A fire has been lit, a spark created, a passion aroused but I have no idea what to do with it or what the universe is trying to say. There is water, there is a land I don’t know, an eagle that soars and a person I don’t recognise, don’t know, may never meet.

This curved ball has pierced me and is living under my skin. It’s created an itch I can’t reach to scratch. It’s caused a crater that’s feeling empty. It needs more than a sticking plaster, it must have touch and emotion and feel a hand in a hand, warm, tender and true.

The universe has thrown me a curve ball and there is damage. Part of me loves the feeling it has given, the breathlessness, the excitement but there is also a sense of loss and I don’t know what any of it means or where to take it. The universe has sent me a curve ball and I have to trust that the universe knows what it’s doing and that is will also show me or point me towards the road map to enable me to know what to do and which way to go.

Curve ball damage has caused a magnificent chaos of colour and sparkle and fizz – let’s see the fallout unfold…..