Emotional release

I say as I see. I’m honest with my expression of emotion and whether I love something or hate it, I will be open with my response. That was not always the case. Over the years I found it easier not to express my opinion as it was usually deemed wrong or not actually required or valued. I would repress my urge to say how I felt because I became scared that the recipient would not like what I had to say. When I finally couldn’t keep it in any longer my whole world changed…..for the better.

Letting go of the emotions you keep inside can be the most liberating experience you will ever have. I’m not just talking about pent up anger or frustration here, not necessarily the negative emotions we keep inside but any emotion that you feel the need to express. Maybe you need to tell someone you are thinking of them, love them, want to hold them. Maybe  you are frustrated by someone’s actions. Maybe you are sad when someone belittles you. Maybe you are experiencing emotions, feeling, thoughts that you need to slowly unfold because there are just too many as you’ve kept them back for so long. Be gentle with yourself and don’t try to do it all at once.

Emotional release doesn’t mean you have to find words. Maybe you’ve been holding tears back just that bit too long now….let them go. It’s okay to cry. Man, woman or child deserves to let go of the sadness inside them. People can be scared to cry because it will start a roller coaster of other emotions that they then have to deal with. You don’t know what you will feel like so don’t assume the worst. Some don’t want to let go because they have actually come to enjoy feeling bad, feeling bad about themselves or someone else and it’s become all they know. Let it go.

Sometimes it’s touch. Sometimes you can say so much just holding someone’s hand. Sometimes it’s a look. You can tell someone you are sad, frustrated, angry with nothing more than your eyes. You can tell someone you love them and always will with no words at all. Sometimes you just have to find the right words and express yourself verbally. Choose them with care, don’t let them go in anger and be as gentle as possible, especially if they are words that are going to impact the other person massively. 

I can say all this because I never did it. I kept words, emotions inside for so long when I finally let them go they were full of anger, hurt, hate, venom. If I had allowed them out when they were lesser versions of what they became, life could have been so much easier. If I’d admitted how I felt and been more honest where would it all have ended up? Don’t get me wrong decisions made were the right ones but maybe the impact would have been less, kinder, compassionate.

Let those emotions go, express yourself but be gentle with yourself and allow yourself the freedom to finally let it all go. 

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Let it begin with me….

A song is buzzing around my head today and it’s a song I used to sing many moons ago in church. It was talking about peace but I think it’s relevant to anything we do.

“Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me…. With every step I take, let this be my solemn vow. To take each moment and live each moment, in peace, eternally. Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.”

I don’t think today in my heart it’s necessarily about peace but I do believe the universe is whispering gently in my ear and asking me to get up and get on with what I’m here to do. My time on earth is short, our time on earth is short and I / we need to really live every single second and do what we are here to do before its time for us to go elsewhere and begin again.

 I’m a healer, this is what I’ve been put on this earth to do. Whether it be the physical or mental form of healing it doesn’t really matter but I am here to take a broken person, a tired, exhausted, lost person and touch a part of their soul that makes them ready to begin again. Talking about it, procrastinating about it being the right time or finding the right people or making money are all just words and wasting what time I have to get the job done. I’ve a lot of people out the desperate for my hands to heal them so I need to turn it up a notch.

Do you know your purpose? Do you know why you get up every day? What is in your heart that makes you alive? You may not be doing it yet so please don’t think about the job you’ve got up to do this morning. This is about your true value, worth, mission, purpose. If you don’t know yet, does it excite you to want to find out or are you happy where you are? There is no right or wrong answer unless fear is the only thing stopping you. 

If you just worry about what it could mean as far as change in your life goes, or you worry you aren’t ready or strong enough, or are concerned about what people would think then you will lose before you begin. You have to be open minded to your own ideas. You have to be passionate about exploring, discovering you, a new beginning, opportunities and living. You have nothing to fear except fear itself. Fear will be your constraint, your road block, your reason to stay where you are and never discover your true potential, life purpose, you.

It’s time. Stop talking about your dreams, find your purpose and start living. You have control. You have the potential, it was born with you, in you. You are in charge of your destiny. Decide and do. Take a look in the mirror this morning and tell yourself “it’s time, let it begin with me”.

How beautiful you are

Very few people will admit they are beautiful as they will always choose the physical beauty and automatically there is something not to their liking. My nose is too big. My eyes are too small. My mouth is crooked. My head is a funny shape. My body is too big, too small, out of proportion. The list is endless. It’s a stament of fact that no matter what you look like, or think you look like you can be beautiful and therefore feel beautiful. 

If you do a good deed for someone, show love to someone, perform a random act of kindness or simply smile at a stranger they are the outcome of your inner beauty. They are the end of your personal rainbow. These actions are like a whole bunch of sparkles bursting out of a tube at massive force. They touch someone and some of your beautiful rubs off on them. It’s okay you won’t run out because it replenishes itself by the very deed you have just done.

So picture this…… You go out to the supermarket and you help someone get a trolley that is stuck or you lend them a pound to unlock it when they have forgotten to bring one. You just transferred your beautiful. You help someone get something off a shelf they can’t reach. You just transferred your beautiful. You smile at a mummy who is hassled by her three young children. You just transferred your beautiful. You thank the cashier and wish them a nice day. You just transferred your beautiful. You go to put your trolley back and see the first person putting theirs back and handing on that pound to an old lady who didn’t have one, you see the person at the shelf picking up some shopping someone else dropped, you see the mummy hugging her children and telling them she loves them, you hear the cashier laughing with a customer and wishing them a happy day…..

Lovely being beautiful isn’t it!

If everyone did just one beautiful thing for another and they in turn did the same, think how far your beautiful could travel in a day, a week, a year. When you feel good, feel beautiful you will knowingly or not pass that on to someone else and make them feel it too. It’s a huge opportunity to create the worlds largest chain reaction so how about being the spark that ignites it today?

A walk in my garden

I have a garden. I have a garden in my head. I have a garden in my head where I go to just be. This garden is my sanctuary when I’m tired, drained, worried, needing answers, just needing space. This garden gives me back what I need. Sometimes peace, sometimes energy, sometimes answers that I’ve been searching for but couldn’t see in my busy head and sometimes I meet loved ones there and stay a while and chat. It’s a place that gives me back…. well, me.

Do you have a place where you go? It might be a physical place or it might like mine, be in your head. It’s a place you can do anything, be anyone, sort through your thoughts with no interruption, ask yourself questions, answer your own questions or that which are being asked of you. It’s a sorting place. It’s a breathing space. 

If you don’t what would yours look like? In what space do you feel most safe, at peace, able to let go of whatever tensions you carry in the day? It may be a garden, a room, a place you hold dear. It may not be a place but a person. It may be someone special you go and meet in your head and put the world to rights. Today I chatted to my friends dad and my grandad. They aren’t physically there obviously but they are in my head and we chat. Sounds madness I am sure but it brings a calm to me and sometimes reassurance and sometimes the gentle shove I need to keep going.

Today a I started my day later than usual as I knew last night I needed rest so I switched off my alarm and had an extra hour and when I went to my garden during my meditation it was very much about restoring me. I chatted, I sat, I took just a few minutes in the warm sunshine, smelling the roses and listening to the stream gurgling past. So now I am ready for whatever the day brings and I can give me without fear of exhausting myself or letting those who need me down. It’s a vital part of who I am and what I do. It’s my time to make me a priority.

When do you make you a priority and how do you do it? If you don’t ask yourself who, apart from you, are you letting down by not being a priority in your own life? If you aren’t present, if you are tired, if you are worrying, stressed, anxious what have you got to give those you love? 

The answers yes so what’s the question

The answers yes so what’s the question is a tag line from a local electrician I know and just this last week I heard Richard Branson use the same phrase! Different backgrounds, careers and lifestyles but their thinking is exactly the same. This attitude is spot on. Why do we spend so much of our lives turning things down, jobs, opportunities, relationships, dreams – all because we think we can’t do it or make it work.

I absolutely love the can do approach to anything and although I went through a phase of saying no before I even thought about whether I could actually doing something, my way of working has always been yes I can. My first job in London was accepted on a “can you do that”, “yes I can” approach. That was the longest weekend ever actually learning that software (80’s where you could still tell fibs about your abilities and keep your job)!

Never say no to an opportunity. You have no idea where it might lead you. What if it brings you your dream job, a new relationship, meeting someone who changes your life or simply makes you the happiest you have ever been. What a waste to let it pass because you think you can’t, shouldn’t or don’t deserve to.

What have you got in your life that would be transformed with a risk being taken? How different could you make your life by taking a chance? Who are you missing out on meeting or being with because you think you shouldn’t or can’t? Where will you be if you just say no without trying? Exactly where you are now I feel.

You always have to weigh risk against value gained but sometimes, just sometimes taking a chance and saying yes and learning how to later can be the most exciting, most productive, creative, empowering, life changing decision you make.

What are you willing to say yes to today? 

Scary is good

Being scared is on the same emotional spectrum as being excited. Being excited is a positive experience. That said we make being scared out to being negative. Why do we do that? And how often do we tell ourselves we are scared when actually we are a bit nervous or just plain excited?

Yesterday I took myself well away from where I am comfortable. I have never considered myself to be a natural speaker, especially with large groups of people but that was the old me who lacked confidence in her own abilities. Now I know I can if I actually make the effort and in fact have been told I speak naturally and easily in public. This still surprises me a little when that “you can’t do this” gremlin whispers in my ear but then I shake myself and admit that yes I can and I can do it well.

It’s so good to try something you are uncomfortable with because when you have done it, even if it wasn’t as fabulous as you would have liked, you have done it. You have achieved. Never again can you tell yourself “I can’t do this”. Being uncomfortable for that short time can lead to so much self confidence, an increase in self esteem, gives other’s a different you to look at and who knows what else. That choice would be yours!

I was interviewed on our new local ‘Ribble FM’ radio station with my networking hat on, discussing the pros and cons for businesses. I was unsure as the gremlin whispered in my head,  but as I was told I was doing it rather than being asked to, I thought I’d better get on with it! I loved it. Absolutely loved it. After the first few seconds I forgot there was anyone but the two of us. Only afterwards when someone passed comment did I remember there were people actually listening. 

So with that in mind…..the woman who always said she was shy, no good at speaking and had nothing of interest to say….you better move over as this woman is on a roll and there is no stopping me now!

You can do this, achieve this, feel like this. You can do this by pushing your own boundaries little by little. You can do this by allowing yourself to be uncomfortable for a few minutes at a time in an environment where you feel safe. You can do this because you are strong. You can do this because you deserve to be the best you can be. You can do this because life should be taken by the scruff of the neck sometimes and given a shake up. You can do this because you deserve to enjoy life and live rather than survive. You can do this…..

Living with second best

Do you accept mediocre? Do you expect great service wherever you go? Do you set high expectations from others when they provide a service or item or task? So why do you allow mediocre for yourself?

Of that’s harsh I hear you say. I do my very best I can hear you muttering. Well that’s all fabulous if you want to lie to yourself but really….do you accept mediocre from yourself? Many of us do and it’s normal but that doesn’t make it acceptable. If you aren’t sure, how many times do you catch yourself saying “oh that will do”, “oh it’s okay I will manage” or “no it’s fine as it is”. That is accepting mediocre. 

You are an amazing, loving, intelligent human being but sometimes, just sometimes, you need to stand up to yourself and say “that is not good enough and I won’t accept it”! Don’t accept not having enough money, working in a job you dislike, living somewhere that makes you unhappy, being with someone you no longer love or being let down by people who are supposed to be your friends. That is accepting second best. Making you second best. You are worth more than that.

Allow yourself to give you the very best in life. No it’s not easy but if you strive for perfection and you work hard what reason is there for not attaining it? I spent many years setting standards high and always being disappointed. Why? Because I didn’t take responsibility for them. I put the expectation on myself but actually wanted others to help me achieve them. Why on earth would they? These were my goals, my dreams, my desires and others were busy living their own dreams with no reason to create mine. Nowadays I set my goals, targets, plans, whatever you choose to call them and I am 100% responsible for the outcome. It’s empowering, exciting, challenging and achievable with the right determination and heart.

If you could achieve one thing today what would it be? What would success look like? How would achieving it feel to you? What energy would it give? Would you be willing to accept you’d not achieved, half accomplished, nearly did it? What would that feel like? Feel different don’t they? 

Dream big. Set yourself a high bar. Accept only the best as its what you deserve.

Stop fighting…. surrender

I was once so scared of my own emotions, so overwhelmed by them I fought them every single day. I was scared to love, scared to love me, scared to love others. The power of that emotion was so strong I thought if I allowed myself to feel I would lose every ounce of control and my world would fall apart. I felt that if I loved all the emotional baggage I carried would be released and I wouldn’t be able to cope. A bit like a dam, once there was a small crack in the wall the end result was too big to even consider.

To lose control and allow yourself to feel is, I have since learnt, the best thing you can do, the only thing to do. Until you surrender to your own emotions you will never gain. Without giving, giving you, you have a very lonely life ahead of you. People will try to penetrate this wall you are stood behind, they will chip away and chip away. Some will try harder than others but eventually they will all give up because the task is too hard, too big and with nothing but frustration and hard work there is no pleasure.

To make yourself vulnerable is one of the scariest things to do. To lay yourself naked of all barriers and say “this is me take me or leave me” is frightening as someone may well choose the latter. It’s okay. You will survive.

The freedom that surrender brings is quite indescribable for me. It’s a lightness, warmth, vivid colour. It’s a tinkling laughter, like that of a very small child. It’s the smell of freshly mown grass on a warm summers day. It’s a dark cavern lit by the vibrancy of diamonds as a light is shone. It’s silence, a silence so peaceful that it fills you with love and an overwhelming sense of just being. 

My purpose in life, through my massage, is to provide for you a safe haven, a place of calm, safety, security where it’s okay to just experience being you, to listen to your own thoughts. I keep the space. I watch over you while you surrender to your own emotions and let them go. My promise to all those lost, scared souls out there is to protect whilst you find your way home.

Surrender to your emotions and explore the world with eyes that you’ve never seen through. It’s amazing.

Be ridiculous, be the child

As an adult I think we tend to take the world a little too seriously sometimes. We forget to be children. We forget to look at life through the naivity of a child. We forget to have fun.

Yesterday I received a message from a friend, it was only an emoji, no words and it made me laugh out loud. The fact that it made me giggle made me giggle even more. Something so ridiculous brightened my whole day. We all need moments like this one. 

Just check with yourself about the last time you properly laughed. The last time something caught you off guard and made you giggle. The last time you cried with laughter. The last time you smiled a genuine smile. For some people that is an awfully long time. Too long. I can happily say that I have friends and loved ones who make me smile, giggle and laugh every single day but it hasn’t always been that way so I count my blessings for them.

Being the child sometimes doesn’t mean you are lacking in responsibility, it doesn’t mean you are stupid, it doesn’t mean you won’t be taken seriously. It simply is a way of releasing the stress, worries and seriousness that the life of an adult brings with it. It’s a release pure and simple. If you find you can’t see the answer to something, ask yourself to look again with the eyes of. Child. Keep it simple, look from a different angle, stop trying to make things mean something they don’t.

Life can be very stressful, there is pressure to achieve so very much. Deadlines. Targets. Be on time all the time. Dress appropriately. Mind what you say and to whom. Keeping the ‘executive’ head on at all times. Money. Work. Family….. The list is endless with very little room for freedom, fun, banter, laughter, giggles or silliness so you have to make sure you add that in. Ride the trolley in the supermarket, wear something just for fun (she says whilst sat in unicorn pjs), send someone a picture to make them smile. Sometimes a random act of madness makes everyone feel better.

Lighten up people! There is enough seriousness in the world right now so today be on a mission to have fun, giggle, be the child, be your inner child.

What are you worth?

How many things, people, jobs, tasks, journeys do you put ahead of you, your needs, dreams, thoughts, desires or space? How much love do you show yourself? Who looks after you?

What I do is heal. I take the beautiful gift I have been given and I heal the wounded soul, the burnt out, the stressed and those injured in mind or body. I was born to use touch to reenergise another human being, taking them from a perpetual state of flux to a lower vibration where calm meets an emotional feeling of comfort, warmth and serenity.

We all deserve to feel still, safe, loved. Man or woman. Young or old. Every human being has the right to find an hour or two of peace, pleasure, something to look forward to. In a world of rush, stressful decisions, juggling hats of all shapes and sizes, swapping masks and costumes to suit any occasion we deserve the gift of stillness.

So why do we put ourselves to the bottom of the pile? Why do we sometimes ignore totally our need to stop and breathe? Usually image. What would people say or think if they saw us taking time for ourselves before another in our family or before we finish that last job or be selfish enough to give ourselves a gift? What others say or think is none of your business.

What I do is heal. I take these hands and gently hold the space until you are ready to step into it. I wait. I invite you to step forward, step in and then stop. Many are worried about massage before they experience it, the fragility of self, giving control to another person. Trust is huge. Massage is about creating relationships, knowing each other, understanding, allowing control to be one sided and being open to the energy, the gift I give freely, openly, generously. Touch is still the most powerful experience and when done with intent to heal can only be a positive one.

So I ask again, when will you show yourself love? When will you allow yourself to be looked after? When will you diarise an hour each month for you to come alive again?

I am here to hold the space for you so you can come to me, just an hour of your time, to place yourself safely in my hands, to stop, to just be.

I invite you to breathe…..