Life is all about you. You are life. If you are trying to live someone else’s life, who is living yours?
We spend so much of our time on planet earth trying to be someone else, like someone else, as good as someone else. What about being you? We have the media throwing information at us as to how we should look, what we should read, watch, listen to, and what we should and shouldn’t say. What about being you? It takes courage to be you and therein lies the problem.
Are you willing (be honest here), are you really willing to stand up and be counted? This could mean defending your beliefs, your truth, your honour or standing up for someone who cannot defend them self or even dressing as you want to dress, walking away from a job that doesn’t serve you, saying what you need to say or living the life you want to live. It could be walking away from an unhealthy relationship or a total life change. A simple “yeah of course” is not enough – I invite you to be really honest with yourself and see if it is true.
I always thought I was the one who stood up to be counted but as I look back I was lying to myself. I spent so long trying to conform that I didn’t even realise I was trying so hard and that it hurt. Nowadays I guess maybe I have reached an age where it isn’t important to me what others think of me, but I have also worked hard to reach a place where I simply like the person I am and most of all I am happy. That’s all any of us want right?
“Be yourself, everyone else is taken” is an Oscar Wilde quote that I just love and it resonates with what I try and help people achieve via my therapies, so it works well as a strapline on my business cards, but what does it actually mean? Is it just words?
To me (and it may be different for you) this quote is about living the life that ensures I live by my values of trust, honesty and integrity. This is ensuring that I am true to my belief that everyone has a right to be heard and listened to, and that everyone has a right to be loved and cared for and that everyone has a right to be happy. This does not mean these are simply gifts which are given, they have to be earned, but everyone should be allowed to receive and achieve them.
Being yourself is about feeling confident enough in your own skin to make a stand if challenged; doing, saying and feeling what is needed, maybe standing alone, letting people go or putting yourself in a place of vulnerability where you may just be hurt; and being yourself is acceptance that you are enough. I am enough, what about you? It is okay to say yes – it doesn’t mean you are not willing to grow or change, it means you are happy where you are, today.
People say, look inside yourself, you will find yourself there…. what on earth does that mean? If you are a literal person you are going to see bones, and blood and muscles and squishy stuff – is that who you are? Look inside me and and I am just the same as you in that department – all goo and sticky, icky bits, BUT, if looking inside means finding what your core values and beliefs are, how you want to live, how you will honour others beliefs and values or how you choose to communicate with others who cross your path, then we will probably all be very different. If you live every day the best way you can, accepting your good days and bad days, accepting the temper loss and frustration as well as the love and kind words, then we will all be very different but possibly aiming at the same target – one of making ourselves and, in the process, making others, happy.
In a lunch break or maybe tonight over a glass of wine or beer or a cup of tea, I challenge you to take a look at you. Are you trying to blend in so you cannot be seen? Are you being someone you aren’t for the benefit of others – to please, to satisfy, to prove a point or because you have been told that is the only way? Are you ready to step up and step out and begin to find the you beyond the visual we all see?
What is to be done? Some will say transform. Some will say reconnect. Some will say change. Me? I say be brave and just be you, everyone else is taken.