For the ladies, yes! For the men to understand their ladies, yes!
I have written so many blogs that have been really personal but I can write them as I am now slightly detached from the experience, and I know someone, somewhere can get something from them – but this somehow feels more personal than usual. Why? Because it is happening now, I haven’t processed it yet, it means I am getting older and having to embrace a new me and yet I am still going public on the menopause!
I have never felt my age so recognising this is the end of one chapter and starting another makes me a little sad right now. But, OMG ladies – what the hell happens to our bodies at this age? I know it is hot outside and we are all a little warm but good grief why now? Why not wait until winter when this damn furnace inside me would actually serve a purpose!
Menopause or Perimenopause that is the question? Who the hell knows for sure and having a “practice” for the menopause I am sorry does not make it any easier!!!! Having googled (as you do) rather than going to the doctors for a diagnosis, you can see that there is a whole host of information, the main article I found states “this is an inevitable part of a woman’s life” – fabulous, so it’s a bit like death then!!! No getting away from this one ladies, so husbands, partners, lovers and all things male in fact – beware !
Doesn’t this just set our heart on fire with joy and elation! Good grief, when you look at this, in fact looking at the pictures alone, you can see pain, suffering, misery, loss, lack, and a sense of ending. Is that what we really want from this stage of our life? Being told we are going to be hot, fat and miserable for the unforeseeable future – oh and then you get old and die…. really!!!!
I am not hiding my head in the sand when I say this, as I know about the heat, the tiredness, the irritability but I am not prepared to spend the rest of my days being ruled by them. I am a woman and as such have been fighting, sometimes losing against and sometimes beating my hormones, for 43 years, SO THIS IS NOT GOING TO DEFINE ME!
Come on ladies we do not lose here, we gain. We gain from no more of those pesky period pains; we gain from not having to always ‘go prepared’ when your period is heavy or you aren’t sure what date you are due; we gain from having wonderful sex without fear of being pregnant (well hopefully); we gain by embracing the wonderful, wise, strong, beautiful women that we have become and should applaud our grey hair, shape, size, passion, sexuality, gorgeous soft skin, knowledge and experience. We, at this time of our lives, come into our own and should revel in it. The other stuff that comes with it is simply our badge of honour and we need to learn to wear it with pride.
Men – be aware of these changes in your woman. Don’t antagonize a woman you can see is struggling with who she is becoming; love her, encourage her, show her that she is still beautiful (don’t tell her as she will never believe you). Don’t dismiss her mood swings as “oh god she’s going off on one again and it’s all my fault as usual”, she is struggling and can do absolutely nothing about it right now. Do remind her she is beautiful. Do show her you still care. Do give her space when she asks fr it without taking offence (she knows she needs to keep out the way believe me). Do know she still fancies you, it is just her libido is a bit knackered at the minute. Do stand by her, as much as she will allow. This is huge and she may be struggling.
So ladies, who is with me and standing up to the Menopause (or Perimenopause whichever I happen to be experiencing at the minute)? Who is prepared to acknowledge, breathe and let go of all they are told (in the negative) and embrace the woman they are and will become. We are bloody amazing and we deserve more than these articles tell us we have ahead of us! I am just stepping into my own skin; I have only just found out who I really am and can stand with confidence and say ‘this is me’, so I am damned if I am giving into a tribe of hormones standing shoulder to shoulder ready for a battle. I assure you they have absolutely no chance of defeating this woman!