Time for an adventure

In a weeks time I will be in the heart of the French countryside with people I’ve never met, taking part in classes that are new and gifting what I love, my massage and reiki, to my fellow travellers. I’m off to a retreat.

Many would love to take time out and do this, I know because they tell me, so what’s stopping them? Finances? Motivation? Fear? Commitments? Time? Some or all of these could be in their head but do you know if they really want it, they will do it. I’m blessed to be going and won’t waste a second. It wasn’t so very long ago I would have been appalled at the thought of doing this and yet this new version of me is beyond excited to be going.

This adventure all came from some beautiful photo’s that created a conversation, the joining of two like minded people and my courage to stand up and say who I am, express how good I am at what I do and their faith in me. If you think that is big headed I really don’t care. I am good at what I do and want to shout out (to anyone who will listen) how important it is for people to have a space to step into to become the person they were, are inside, could be again. I create that space.

I am about to meet people from across this marvellous planet of ours, all with stories of their own, all with reasons for coming together and just being. Learning, growing, being still, taking time, creating space and improving themselves; mind, body and spirit. There are no barriers, this is for everyone who  wants to “transform your existence into a life that matters“.

Why do this? I can only answer for me – it’s time in my life for adventures. I have  been to some pretty dark places in recent years and worked damn hard to step into the light. This is my way of celebrating, sharing, forgiving, learning, reflecting, growing, being still, going inside, reaching out into nature and the universe and saying thank you for everything I have. I have been blessed with two amazing children. I am loved. I have good health and I have a gift to share with those who can find themselves and it’s time in my life for adventure to live and no longer just exist.

Taking a week to myself, for myself is selfish? That depends on your viewpoint doesn’t it. Independence? Celebration? Gratitude? Giving? Learning? Loving? Silence? Inner strength? Being a better person to those I come home to? If all this is selfish then I will allow you to call me that but I ask you if you fancy being ‘selfish’ too. It is for everyone, anyone, you, me, him, her, young, old, male, female, strangers, couples, friends; anyone who is seeking “self-discovery and transformation. Time to think, space to breathe, learn to grow”.

What will I learn? What will I do with it all afterwards? How will it impact the future? I guess I can only answer that when I return and reflect. Will I be different? Absolutely yes. Will it be the biggest adventure I’ve ever had? Oh yes. Am I excited? Imagine a bottle of pop that has been shaken and released…. does that tell you? You CAN have this. You CAN find time. You CAN afford it. You CAN become whoever you want to be. Maybe it really is your time to step into your space.




Heading into silence 

Have you ever experienced true silence? 

It’s really hard to find the time? It’s really hard to find a place? It’s really hard to do? It’s really hard to believe this can be anything useful?  To experience silence you have to stop. You have to listen. You have to keep trying to find it. You have to believe it’s worthwhile. 

When you find your way into true silence it can be the most powerful experience. It’s loud. It’s thought provoking. It helps you find your thoughts. It helps you find time and peace within it. It helps you find the strength and the belief in yourself that you can do, achieve, succeed in anything.

This morning, after many weeks of being unable to focus in my meditation, unable to quieten my thoughts long enough to focus, unable to hear myself think as there was so much in my head, this morning I found silence and it was beautiful.  It took me a while and a few attempts to focus and follow my own breath and it took a great deal of concentration on that breath to shut out the noise within my head and from the outside world but once I was there it was beautiful.

I was heading for the second migraine of the week, I was tired, I was emotionally bereft before I began. In twenty minutes I felt refreshed, my head was clearing and I felt strong enough to take back control of my day. All by persevering, believing, focussing and taking time to go inside and listen to my body, my thoughts, my own silence. That moment you hear your own intake of breath, your heartbeat, the air filling every space in your lungs. That feeling of the air gathering up all the negativity, stress, darkness and your body expelling it out and away and bringing in white light, cleanliness, positivity and peace. That is silence.

“Do this every day and your life will change”. Do you know I think it will. I am going to take the rest of this month doing just that, getting back into a routine, a pattern, taking time to stop and breathe and see what a difference it makes. I love a challenge and I think I’ve just been thrown one. How different? Well I guess that depends on me. I plan to take note now of how I feel, think, emotional aspects I want to experience or change, things I want to achieve, feel, do, things I want to come in and go out of my life and then revisit this at the end of the month. How much can I do? I guess that’s up to me too. I will say what I want and what I hope to gain and then compare my now to my then.

If you feel you want to do this too message me – why not do this together? Lifes easier with support sometimes and who knows where the adventure could take us…..

OMG is that me?

There is nothing more beautiful than seeing someone realise not only what they can do but who they already are.

Have you ever thought or heard yourself say “I am not the person I used to be” or “I don’t know who I am anymore” or “I don’t recognise the person I see in the mirror – where have I gone?” I’m not talking about others saying it of you – that says far more about them than it does you – but I do acknowledge they will make you feel the same emotions if you are already struggling with your self esteem and confidence.

I wrote a week or two ago (For Ladies of a Certain Age – 24 May) about how empowered I felt by having my photo taken professionally and today I went to see the results of those few hours in front of the camera and I was totally blown away by the beautiful woman I saw on the screen.

I saw strength, I saw courage, I saw nerve. I felt pride. I felt I was looking at many women even though they all had the same face.  She has captured so many aspects of my personality, a true artist at work. She found my vulnerable, my sexy, my coy, my strong, my determined and my playful. She enticed the inner me out into the open and then captured it with a single shutter click. She created a snapshot of who I am that will remain for all eternity and allow me to go back to if ever I need to remind myself or want to reminisce on the enormity of the day.

We all spend our days being so many people, I know I am mum, lover, chef, taxi driver, therapist, friend, sister et al, as you may be. Gentlemen this is for you too! You are dad, husband, lover, chef, sportsman, friend, strongman, shoulder to lean on and many, many other people. You may feel you have lost your identity and you are so many people that you never know which you want to be and most certainly lose who you can be.

It is a huge moment when you are faced with yourself on a 48″ screen with no filters, no retouching, no photo manipulation, just raw emotion captured by an artist. I watched this movie of me mesmerised by not what but who I saw. On this screen was exactly who I am but it was like seeing me for the first time and I fell in love. Does that sound ridiculous? I hope not because I was stunned as I saw who I have become on this journey of mine and I love her and with this comes who I can move on to be and the opportunities I can create and live in.

All from a click of the camera? No of course not but that click has shown me my own potential. I expected to be embarrassed, shy, appalled, disgusted, disappointed (says a great deal about my self confidence) but I was proud and as I wiped a tear away it dawned on me how big this moment was. This was another step on my journey of rediscovering me and I saw how far I have travelled and how far I can go. This was huge.

I’m not suggesting everyone do this in particular (although I do believe you should give it a go) but I do feel very, very strongly that everyone should step out of themselves and find a means to see themselves with new eyes. The euphoria is dreadfully difficult to capture here in words but I hope you can see how this has empowered, inspired and filled me with confidence and as you can see by the heading “the most beautiful thing a woman can wear is confidence”.

Life from a death sentence?

Today I watched a show that talked to people who had been told they were dying. No not depressing at all! It left me with a question in my head though. Why do most people wait to be given a timeframe like this before they actually begin to live?

Each of these marvellously courageous human beings took their time left as a positive and decided to live every minute of what time they had left and they were truly inspirational. They took the news as devastating as it was, by the balls (no, no apologies for that reference) and said f**k you (and no, no apologies as that’s a direct quote). They were not going to allow these diseases, these creeping, invasive creatures to take away their  lives, happiness or desire to achieve.

If we all had the date we were to leave this earth would we live differently?

These people looked at their loved ones with new eyes. They noticed their beauty, their hands, their eyes, their laughter and they really saw the world around them and smelt the air, heard birdsong louder than ever before and touched every moment and person not as if it was the last time but as if it were the first. 

For some of us this really would be the first time we saw and experienced our world because we go round with our senses closed off to everything we interact with. On your drive to work when was the last time you noticed what is beyond the grey tarmac, how many trees do you go past, what sounds do you hear outside of the traffic, what smells rising above the fumes? When you are having dinner with your family do you sit at the table and talk through your days, your emotions, your dreams or do you sit watching the tv, interacting with others on your mobile, do you even share mealtimes? 

We waste so much living by doing instead of being.

If you had six months from now, how would you spend it I wonder? I’m not giving you super powers or extra cash, you have your current way of life and six months, that’s it. What are you going to change if anything? Who will you become? What will you do differently each day? 

When will you realise what life and living really means? Time suddenly becomes so very precious when you know how much you have.