OMG is that me?

There is nothing more beautiful than seeing someone realise not only what they can do but who they already are.

Have you ever thought or heard yourself say “I am not the person I used to be” or “I don’t know who I am anymore” or “I don’t recognise the person I see in the mirror – where have I gone?” I’m not talking about others saying it of you – that says far more about them than it does you – but I do acknowledge they will make you feel the same emotions if you are already struggling with your self esteem and confidence.

I wrote a week or two ago (For Ladies of a Certain Age – 24 May) about how empowered I felt by having my photo taken professionally and today I went to see the results of those few hours in front of the camera and I was totally blown away by the beautiful woman I saw on the screen.

I saw strength, I saw courage, I saw nerve. I felt pride. I felt I was looking at many women even though they all had the same face.  She has captured so many aspects of my personality, a true artist at work. She found my vulnerable, my sexy, my coy, my strong, my determined and my playful. She enticed the inner me out into the open and then captured it with a single shutter click. She created a snapshot of who I am that will remain for all eternity and allow me to go back to if ever I need to remind myself or want to reminisce on the enormity of the day.

We all spend our days being so many people, I know I am mum, lover, chef, taxi driver, therapist, friend, sister et al, as you may be. Gentlemen this is for you too! You are dad, husband, lover, chef, sportsman, friend, strongman, shoulder to lean on and many, many other people. You may feel you have lost your identity and you are so many people that you never know which you want to be and most certainly lose who you can be.

It is a huge moment when you are faced with yourself on a 48″ screen with no filters, no retouching, no photo manipulation, just raw emotion captured by an artist. I watched this movie of me mesmerised by not what but who I saw. On this screen was exactly who I am but it was like seeing me for the first time and I fell in love. Does that sound ridiculous? I hope not because I was stunned as I saw who I have become on this journey of mine and I love her and with this comes who I can move on to be and the opportunities I can create and live in.

All from a click of the camera? No of course not but that click has shown me my own potential. I expected to be embarrassed, shy, appalled, disgusted, disappointed (says a great deal about my self confidence) but I was proud and as I wiped a tear away it dawned on me how big this moment was. This was another step on my journey of rediscovering me and I saw how far I have travelled and how far I can go. This was huge.

I’m not suggesting everyone do this in particular (although I do believe you should give it a go) but I do feel very, very strongly that everyone should step out of themselves and find a means to see themselves with new eyes. The euphoria is dreadfully difficult to capture here in words but I hope you can see how this has empowered, inspired and filled me with confidence and as you can see by the heading “the most beautiful thing a woman can wear is confidence”.


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