When you wake in the morning what does your body tell you? What does it say to you before you even have chance to think about anything? Do you wake calm and refreshed after a good nights sleep and leap out of bed and let the day begin? Do you wake with a huge long ‘to do’ list already created and being added to as you come round? Do you wake knowing you actually haven’t really had a proper nights sleep and really want to turn over and try again or cry? Is your body screaming for sleep, calm, clarity and peace or action? I know you are sat there knowing exactly which is you. Don’t run away from that thought, bear with me.
Whichever you feel (and I am sure you have a list of your own from your own experiences) you can choose to stay with that and allow this to dictate your day or you can decide to acknowledge, deal with or let it go.
I woke today knowing its my last day before I have to get back to work after being off for two weeks post op and I am genuinely scared. I haven’t put myself through anything so “energetic” for over three weeks now. Am I ready? Can I do this? What if I can’t, how do I manage? What if I have to let people down? I need to work to pay for bills but what if, what if, what if…… Oh how we torture ourselves! My confidence has taken a right old kicking and I’ve been in the hands of others this last few weeks to take care of me and make me better so what if I can’t manage it myself? Get a grip woman!
Deal with the financials. What is coming in, what is going out? If the former is larger than the latter why are you worrying? If it’s the other way round what do you need to do to turn it round? Deal with the confidence. Did I do my job perfectly well before? Yes. Do I go at it at 300 mph and give more than I sometimes need? Yes. Then there’s plenty in the tank to play with. Deal with letting people down. If I suddenly have to postpone my appointment as I’ve done too much will they understand? Do my clients know me well enough to accept what I say? Yes so just be honest. Accept your limitations.
So that’s three issues/stresses dealt with so what else is making my day stressful and overwhelming? Jobs to be done and things to do….. I’m feeling better so I have to do absolutely everything I can to catch up in the house! Do I? Do I really?
Will those things still be there tomorrow? Have they sat patiently waiting for me for two weeks already? Has the world ended and/or am I living in squalor? Yes, yes and no. Oh how we manage to blow everything out of proportion when we are feeling tense, stressed, panicky – whatever you call your overwhelm its rarely as big as you make it out to be in your head when you put it down on paper. It’s like those who say “I can’t possibly do that I haven’t a minute in my day” and yet they then chat on the phone, read a nonsense survey on Facebook, sit in front of some random programme on the tv they aren’t interested in or simply find anything to do other than what is needed.
We aren’t always too busy it’s just overwhelm and overwhelm is okay and easily dealt with if you simply acknowledge it. That is hard as we see it as failing and I can tell you now overwhelm is NOT failure. Overwhelm is simply your desire to be better and its got a little out of hand. It’s fixable, as are you.
Listen to your body. Stop for five minutes right now and do a quick scan over yourself. What aches and pains are you suffering on a regular basis? Are they real, diagnosed issues that you are seeking medical support over? Are they self inflicted? Are they unexplained things you are avoiding or self diagnosing on? I spent a week telling myself that my dairy intolerance was causing me issues, knowing damn well that this was way bigger than an intolerance cramp but I didn’t want to stop working or let my daughter down. It (my friend the perforated, gangrenous appendix, seeping seemingly highly toxic fluids into my body) could have killed me! That is not only stupid, its selfish and all because I was too busy to listen to my body. I knew I wasn’t right. I knew I needed medical attention. I thought I was better than my own self. I WAS NOT and I nearly had a doctor explaining to my children that mummy’s selfish stupidity means she’s not coming home!
That may be being overly dramatic to make a point but when you get that twinge, that breathlessness or tightening in your chest; that headache you keep shunning as just being over tired; that stomach cramp that is continual and the occasional seepage of blood when you visit the bathroom; that blurring in your vision that you insist means you just need a quick eye examination STOP and LISTEN TO YOURSELF. I can assure you this is the universe using your own self to say “you are this close to the end or are causing yourself unnecessary harm”. Is it (work, worry, overwhelm, money, your career, your ego) worth it? That dash between your birth date and death means more than this doesn’t it? You deserve more, better and so do those who love you.