Stress. This word has, over the years, become a get out clause for people and is usually blamed on their external world. Work. My employer. My partner. My kids. My career or lack of. Finances. The governments latest decisions. This list can go on and on and on and whilst I am not dismissing their part in stress we have to face up to the fact that we too are responsible.
How many times have you put something in a box as you couldn’t deal with it then because you were too upset, too busy or just didn’t want to face the truth? How many times was blaming easier than facing your truth? How many times have you had the opportunity to change a situation but didn’t because it was easier to stay in it? When was the last time you said yes to a request knowing you didn’t have the time or inclination to do it, or do it properly? All of these seemingly insignificant factors build stress.
What does it look like?
Tightness in your chest when you think of said issue. An illness like IBS flaring up. An inability to breath properly, shallow and fast. Lack of sleep or interrupted sleep. Waking in a blind panic but you aren’t quite sure why. Eating too much or too little. Skin looking tired, spotty, unloved. Hair lacking its usual brightness or condition. Are you seeing a theme here? Your body is telling you loud and clear it is unwell and needs you to take control and sort it out. Your body is a mirror to what’s happening in your head.
The only person who can initially sort out your stress is you. I’m sorry if you’d like someone else to deal with it but until you face the fact that it’s you, your body and your responsibility to yourself and your loved ones to be in a better place, nothing will ever be improved. It’s time for the big girl/boy pants to be put on, pulled up and for you to act on what your body is so clearly telling you.
No it’s not easy. Yes it does make you vulnerable. No you are not the first and you won’t be the last. Yes there are people out there willing, wanting to support you. They can’t mend you or do it for you but they will support you, care for you, hold a space for you to step into that is safe, calm and free from anxiety whilst you take back control.
So, the choice is yours isn’t it. You can stay where you are looking and feeling like someone else, someone you don’t recognise or you can stop for a minute, find that inner courage and say “I need support can you help or do you know someone that can”. Big words, difficult words but once said do not need repeating.
Imagine a life where you sleep again, you look and feel good and you no longer have that negative voice in your head telling you that you’re failing. You are strong, courageous and you will find you again. You’re still there just hidden.