When I know things (that’s me in other words) have to change I get this wriggly feeling in the pit of my stomach. It’s a bit like when you were excited as a child going to a party or a fear of some thing as you got older. It churns away inside and I know it’s time, I don’t always know (in fact rarely can identify the what) but I do know change is coming and I just have to trust.
This morning I sit feeling unsettled. It’s been brewing for a couple of days now and I know I have to trust (me, my instincts) and go with the flow, but it’s very uncomfortable not seeing what’s ahead.
I have a couple of new ventures, maybe I should change that to adventures, on the horizon neither of which I truly know if they will be successful or not. I simply have to believe in the work I am putting in and trust that it will be worth it. Trusts a big thing isn’t it, especially when it’s yourself you have to trust. I find trusting others much easier somehow.
I’m beginning to walk a new path and whilst I can’t see where it’s going I can feel a directional shift. The people I am working with, meeting, the new ideas forming, a different way of thinking; it’s all there and all I can do is trust I’m right.
I am a planner. I am a controller. I know I force situations rather than let them evolve naturally. That’s my insecurities rearing their heads, but I know my path is changing because I am beginning to let go. I am beginning to trust that what will happen is only ever to my benefit, success, advantage (not sure what word there but you get the gist I hope). I’m trusting me to do the right thing, make the right decisions as they come up, relax and see what happens. That’s a massive step in my personal development.
Some people call it a comfort zone so I will use that term here; how far out of your comfort zone are you willing to come to grow, to evolve, to risk, to see what’s possible? It’s uncomfortable (obviously), it’s scarey, it’s foggy but it’s also you as the child heading to their first party with nervous excitement and tension about what’s to come. You know it’s going to be amazing but what will you do there, what games will you play, who will you meet, it’s all unknown and totally exciting. The possibilities are endless, new friendships may be made, you may be sick later from spinning round after eating too much but hell what a time you will have had getting to that point.
I’m going to a party; do you want to come too?