When asked how I am, as a woman I have learnt that ‘I’m fine thank you’ covers a whole diverse range of emotions and says nothing at all. Works every time except with those who can see through you.
It can mean I am genuinely doing okay or I’m sad, anxious, angry, frustrated, really cross at you, disappointed, jealous, grieving, missing you every second of the day and a huge range of other adjectives that cover what I really feel inside. So why ‘I’m fine’? Simple. It’s easier than explaining what’s really going on.
Descriptive words are numerous and the feelings we feel as humans are also numerous but it seems that for some people it’s really difficult to join the two and make a cohesive statement of fact and have it accepted and understood by the interested party. We are too complex for our own good at times and whilst thinking we are making an easy statement (I’m fine) we are actually causing internal conflict and lying to ourselves and to others. The lies alone go against values we hold dear and add to the internal dialogue.
If people really know me they will read me well and know with no explanation what ‘I’m fine’ means and do what they need to do or say what they need to say. Others will just take the words at face value and go about their day. Who wins and who loses. The only loser here is self.
If you’re fine, say so. If you aren’t…. say so. Get it out there and face yourself.