Hold me a little more

Have you ever had a hug from someone that is so beautiful that you didn’t want it to end, that you didn’t want to let them go because of how it would feel to be without their arms around you. Knowing that you would feel lost, cold, empty without them, did you just want to stay there forever?

I have experienced that a few times in my life and take joy in the fact that, (as some of those people I was letting go of never to hold them again), I can still feel what it was like because the emotion created is tattooed into my skin, literally and emotionally.

Some days I would love to go back there for just one more minute to hold or be held. Those goodbyes at the train station moments. Those keep safe I love you moments. Those saying goodbye to life moments. Just one more minute there? We know that’s a no and yet sometimes we would surely like to repeat them again.

The inner peace of letting go and the acknowledgment of a person, an event, a situation that has now been hugged and passed on, given away, spoken of, is huge. Recently I did this ‘speaking of’ and from that moment have found an inner peace I had no idea could possibly exist. It laid to rest some worries, some demons and answered far more questions than I actually realised I had to ask or answer. The expression of weight being lifted off is how I feel and yet I hadn’t realised the weight was even there so imagine if you can just how light I feel.

Silence, inner silence. Calm. At ease with my thoughts and my actions. Forgiveness of myself. Hope for what will now be. Openness has been created by speaking up and acknowledging and I don’t feel I have to hide anymore. This is huge and very very beautiful. I feel like a flower that has finaly unfurled her petals and is basking in the warm sunshine with just the hint of a warm summer breeze rocking me.

I feel that warm closeness of a hug that just cannot and will not end.

Just stop for a second and see in your head the last hug you had that was so precious that you can still feel it. Was it gentle, tight, warm, squishy or firm? Was it letting go, saying goodbye, saying hello or saying I love you? Were they tall or small, slight or large, human or animal, a love or a friend? Why so beautiful? Enjoy that thought….

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