At the end of one day another always begins and in fact if we didn’t use a clock to know when this was, we would simply experience a continuous cycle and not be beholden to time and dates. As we wouldn’t then experience ending or beginning would we then flow?
We talk about chapters in our lives, or times or cycles and out of all of these I prefer the cycle as it feels continuous, moving simply at a different pace rather than a stop and start approach. I love flow, I love continuous, I love never ending and for me there is an air of life and living about its movement.
So, with this flow in mind, I have to admit that I have allowed my life recently to try and flow uphill, around obstacles that I was placing in my own way and generally being interrupted from its natural movement. I’ve talked a lot recently about ego but she is a major player in my life sometimes and only recently have I understood her power, her strength, her brazenness not to care about how she comes across. The boulder in the river that is my life is her, is ego.
This year is fast becoming a major turning point for me and I can see many exciting things and new people and therefore opportunities on the horizon. I have no space for ego, so how to keep her at bay? It’s a difficult one but three words that spring to my mind are awareness, presence and trust. These three will be strong enough to push ego from my view and to the shoreline where she can stay and watch me continue on.
Awareness of me, my surroundings and most of all the people I impact in a positive but more importantly, negative way. How many times do I go through my day unaware of how others feel about what I do, say or don’t say? I am not sure I even want to admit that but deep down I know it happens. Usually it is the people closest to you that get ignored. Self awareness is a must.
Presence has a link to awareness. If I am present in all I do I will be far more aware of who I am, what I say and what I am doing because I am living for that moment only. Being present is absolutely critical and in this day and age I think we get further from it, always living in tomorrow because we can see it has possibility or in the past as that is where we were happier. Now, here, right this second is where we can impact tomorrow so bring back that focus and live here and now.
Trust. This is the biggest and most important factor in my life and this week it has been tested many times in many ways. Is it the trust of a friend, a lover, a colleague? No it’s me. I have, in the dim and distant past, allowed myself to be mistreated (physically and mentally) and in doing that mistrusting most people has become the norm. I work hard to trust and it can swing in the opposite direction where I become naïve and trust too much (always the wrong people) but trusting myself, my gut and having that unwavering belief in me is lost somehow. It has taken two people this week to remind me that there are people in my life I can implicitly trust and in doing that can learn to trust my judgement again. My future happiness depends on it.
So stood on the cusp of new; the dawning of a new time, learning yet more about me and therefore this glorious world I live in with some pretty amazing people. I am blessed to have lived the life I have as it has taught me well and I need to remember to learn from it all. Life is what you make it and mine is flowing downhill again now with a serene beauty and elegance that brings inner peace, calm but with an undercurrent of bubbles and speed. Let it flow once more and take me on a journey…..