So. Stuck in treacle, sluggish, frustrated and even making myself cross and bored listening to my ego. Flat. Slightly angry at myself for feeling flat when the world, my world in particular, has such amazing opportunity laying at its door. I needed something….. I needed speed.
I went for salsa therapy!
In my car the foot went down (no not above the speed limit but it was a no holds barred kind of drive), the music was fast and extremely loud and the salsa class was ahead. I lost the noise in my mind and in my heart and I lost my frustrations in those two hours. I allowed the music to woo me, to take me, to devour every inch of me and make me whole again.
The roads were clear, as was the night, the music as loud but mellower on the journey home. I was at peace once more.
Oh how easy to step away from where you are when you know it’s not the place you should be once you realise where the wrong place is. Not all that long ago I wouldn’t have even recognised that place and I would have stayed there wallowing in my own frustrations and need for self pity and self destruction, but now I recognise it for what it is and deal with it accordingly. The music, the speed, the dance for me is the medicine, the cure, the space to rid myself of those self pitying woes I beat myself with every now and again. What about you?
Have you reached the point in your own personal development or journey to know when you are destroying who you are and what you have? Do you know when to shout “enough” at yourself in the mirror? Can you find the solution that suits each occasion? Do you know how much time to give yourself away from yourself to rid your mind of your all knowing and destructive ego?
It’s not easy and it’s a huge learning curve, so allow yourself time to learn, recognise, practice and find solutions that work for you. It doesn’t matter what others do or tell you to do, you find your own way, your inner passion, your inner satisfaction button and you press it with all your might. Never let it take over, devour you, knaw away and ruin what you have. Never let that ego win!
So another day dawns and I feel like me again… Tackling all that is to be tackled, winning all that can be won, letting go of what I cannot control and living every second of the day I have been given. Life is short and when it becomes testing, the speed, the music, the dance are mine to make me whole once more.