🎶don’t ask my opinion, don’t ask me to lie, then beg for forgiveness for making you cry….I’m only human after all, don’t put the blame on me🎶
We would all love someone else to take responsibility for the mistakes we make/have made wouldn’t we? If we can blame someone else it makes us feel less stupid, less awkward, more in control of our own lives. Actually we are all responsible for what we have, what we do, the choices we make and the outcome to a certain extent.
I have made some really big mistakes in my past, whether that be choosing the bad boy as a boyfriend when I was 14, not walking away after the man I thought loved me beat me the first time or any other relationship disaster I managed to accommodate. I’ve made so many mistakes that I then went the other way and needed life to be perfect.
Perfection meant safety, perfection meant I would be loved, perfection would mean promotion at work. That was a resounding nooooo. It really doesn’t work that way. I’m not sure of the exact biblical quote but I know it begins “to err is human”. I’m telling you now mistakes are good. Mistakes are what help you grow and learn. Mistakes are the things that make you human. If you are making mistakes you are alive! Stop being perfect.
When I see these young girls, and boys for that matter, seeking perfection, the perfect, skin, makeup, body, clothing brand, hair and all that comes with it I weep inside. In seeking perfection they are losing their identity. We are inadvertently cloning our children. I don’t mean in a scientific way, I mean allowing them to all look the same, talk the same, think the same and never be an individual. It’s a terrible burden they are carrying. They must be imperfect, they must make mistakes and they must fall down otherwise we as parents are not doing our role of growing them, teaching them, picking them up, dusting them off and hugging them.
Some may think it’s my mouth that could also be seen as my mistake making machine. As the first line of this blog indicates, if someone asks my opinion I give it. I have very little filtering system when it comes to that and will say what I think not necessarily what they want to hear. That doesn’t always go down well does it! I will always give my opinion with kindness and from my heart and in a way someone, I hope, will get from it what they need but I will never fabricate my answer, not even for those I love and care for. If you seek an answer that is what you already think, ask the mirror. If you seek the option of another for comparison and genuinely want the answer then I’m happy to hear the question. Don’t cry, blame or make me responsible for the outcome.
I’ve spent years striving to be perfect, I’ve worked really hard at it, made big (and bad) choices to achieve it. Finally I got there and everything was as I wanted it. Wasn’t it? Actually no. It was a cold, unemotional, lonely world. Sad, unloving, dark, sterile and stuck. With nowhere to go, no one to love (particularly myself) and no other option I had to ask the person in the mirror one more question… Could we please go back back to making mistakes and being human after all…