Projecting Self

I wonder how many times you project your thoughts to others. How often do you control a situation just by your own thoughts and actions?  How many times do you manipulate a situation just because you can?

I have experienced situations in my life (which I only recognise looking back and never at the time), where what I thought were my thoughts, my actions, my decisions were actually what someone else wanted of me. Never my own original thought, never choices that were mine. All manipulations of another. At the time I didn’t see it, looking back it scares me a little. It scares me, not because I was in danger, but because I see how easy it is to manipulate another human being.

If you are a good positive, strong, loving, caring person and projecting self to others, I see this as good. I see this as helping others develop, grow, learn. If your intent is love then it can only be a good thing. If, on the other hand, your intent is to keep someone back, down, far away from their own potential or to raise your own self esteem and make you feel stronger, wiser, better, more intelligent, more loved, that is a dangerous place to be.

I say dangerous because you’re then in a position of manipulation, not nurturing. You are controlling, taking away someone else’s self esteem, confidence and belief in themself. To what end? Power. You are projecting self for power and control. 

I ask you to look at how you deal with others close to you. I ask you to consider why you speak to them the way you do. How you speak to them? What is your intent? Can you honestly say it’s to grow them or do you hesitate with the answer and know deep down its something inside you that needs feeding. Is it your desire to be the centre of someone’s world? Be honest.

I watched a film tonight (The Girl on the Train) and it felt a little too familiar. The manipulation. The terror. The loss of moments. The feeling of self loathing, self doubt and the belief all that is bad is your fault, even when you know deep down it can’t possibly always be you. A powerful film portraying a powerful force within the human race. 

Be careful what you project. Be sure that what you give is what you intend. Ensure that you give for love not power. Even the smallest of twisting can sow seeds of doubt in another’s confidence. Mind your words, your thoughts, your intent.


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