You can’t do that!

I can never tell my children not to drink or smoke or dye their hair weird colours or have piercings or tattoos. Been there done them all. I can advise them which of these to avoid/don’t do but never can I criticise them for doing. I can only hope they make wise choices in life and not just on these subjects. We cannot live for our children nor should we try. We are here to guide them, protect them, pick them up if they fall and love them unconditionally no matter what they do or get into.

Thankfully I no longer smoke, nor have I for 23 years and I’m not a big drinker but the piercings and tattoos are a little more permanent and nor would I change them. They are me and I them. My tattoo in particular tells a story and it began when I woke from my stupor, escaped from the prison I had created around myself, left my hand built crysalis and spread my wings. I look at some people and wonder at what possessed them to have the tattoos that they do. I prefer the works of art, the creative, the meaningful and you can tell by where they are, the quality and the design as to which were done on the spur of the moment and which have been lovingly created and tell a story.

Mine began with my children’s names in Tibetan and ended with a Phoenix.. The former so I always carried them with me in all I did, even when they had grown up and are living their own lives and the latter was me finally reaching the end of that part of my journey, my transformation, my release and taking flight. In between are my angel babies, my angel of healing, depictions of freedom and release and words of love. I thought that my Phoenix was the end as it was the end of that journey. I naively forgot that the end of one is clearly the beginning of another and so the pencils are out and the next design has been drawn.

Do not judge when you see ‘painted’ bodies. Do not judge the wearer of piercings. They may be a fashion statement or they may be part of their journey. They have lives you no nothing about, maybe that they cannot share with anyone else, so do not write them off and put them in a category until you have walked in their shoes.

My tattoo is for me. It’s not obvious to anyone else and nor do I display it. It does get seen occasionally and unless you know it usually surprises. Why I am not sure but it does become a talking point and then people, if they ask, get my story, my journey and I share my mental health issues, my happiness, my sadness, my freedom, my loves and my future. Then they can say they know me better and judge me accordingly but never before….

So the next one begins with words…. “For it was not into my ear that you whispered but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed but my soul.” I know where it begins but wonder where this part of life’s journey goes….


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