I’ll never win at poker

Don’t ever invite me to play poker with you if you want to win. I wear my heart on my sleeve and my face couldn’t lie even if my words did it beautifully.

I am as transparent as the largest picture window. Now that isn’t saying I haven’t learnt to cover up my emotions, (those of you who join me often know that is exactly what I did for many a year), this is saying I can hide what I’m feeling if I feel I need to, but ask me to lie to you or for you and I’m downright rubbish. Why? Because my face doesn’t listen or take any notice of my mouth.

I think it’s a good thing that I can’t lie but my face also gives away everything I’m thinking and feeling even when I have no idea that is what it’s doing. It’s like I have a face I can control, like the one I controlled when I had to curb how crap I used to feel some days, and then there’s the face that gives me away unconsciously.

When I’m thinking, when I’m sad and when I am bursting from the inside out with happiness this face of mine tells the whole world. In fact I have a feeling that the thinking and sad face are probably similar as people do ask me if I’m okay when actually I’m just mulling things over in my head.  The one seemingly giving me away at the moment is the smiley face, the content face, the ‘I’m loving my life’ face.

There’s no escaping it, I’m in love. I’m in love with life.

Once upon a time there was a woman who felt that one more day was too many to count but she rediscovered her inner flame (A Rediscovered Life – https://claire3565.wordpress.com/) and rebuilt herself around that smouldering flicker. Today she is nothing like that other woman as she now stands taller, oozing with confidence, is wiser and braver. What would someone recognise looking at her now? The mouth and the eyes. The mouth is still the same but now smiles, it smiles right into the eyes. The eyes are the same but oh my goodness now full of sparkles.

“You look different, I can’t quite put my finger on it but you do”. How often does that get said to you? You can see them wondering if your hair is different, you’ve got contacts instead of glasses or vice versa, you are wearing new clothes…. It’s love. Love has a knack of seeping out. You think it’s invisible but it is not. It is most definitely luminous, sparkly, covers your entire flesh, oozing from your pores and glistening wildly, brightly as the light hits it. When you love your life and those within it there is no lie that can darken it or dampen it down. You become a terrible liar and all who see you can read you like a book in the largest of print.

If you want to know why, ask me. If you want to know how, watch me. If you want it in your life too, then get out and choose to live it.


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