The long good night

Oh to sleep, well, oh to sleep properly, a full night, peacefully. The cry of so many and including me at the minute. Just one night where I sleep all night would be perfection. I have my evening ritual / wind down, I go to sleep with the greatest of ease but staying asleep…… that escapes me.

It’s the time my brain wakes and processes all the stuff I’ve not had time for and more than likely the bits I’ve been avoiding through the day. It therefore knows it needs to think about it, process it, deal with it, file it and so off it goes. I just wish it would do it without waking me.

I had approximately three and a half hours of processing and filing going on last night and no matter how I tried dealing with it to avoid it and get myself back to sleep I had to give in and realise my head needed to do this and so let it. I worry in the night, that’s my problem. All those things that are building up need a voice and that’s when they are apt to shout loudest. What’s the answer? Deal with them in the day. Make time to sort them, discuss them, implement changes or action them.

How simple the answer and yet I continue to do it time and time again, resulting in another bout of sleepless nights. When people say they are tired, weary, exhausted mentally when they get up in the morning I totally get it. It’s not the lack of sleep necessarily, it’s the fact that they have used their brains, their energies all night and now need to deal with the results which again fills them with dread or fear or stress.

I know the causes of mine, one personal and one business and as usual one is always easier to deal with than the other. I ridiculously also know the solution to each of these worries but it is the implementation that I am avoiding. What will people think, how will others react, am I failing by doing this, maybe it will turn out to be the worst decision ever….. A 1001 reasons for procrastination.

Take a small bit of the solution, like dipping your toe into a freezing cold sea. It will be uncomfortable for a while but your body will get used to it and then you can immerse yourself further. Slowly, being gentle on yourself, resolve to get a bit done at a time but never leaving so much time between that you are back to the sleepiness and the stress is rising bigger and uglier than before. Start with the easy wins to gain comfort and confidence. Courage. Bravery. Practicality. Emotion free decision making. Action. It doesn’t matter what you call it or how you see it as long as you do it.

Starting today my fears are being faced, my worries taken by the hand and are being shown the door. Starting today an action plan is to be put in place for their resolution. Starting today the sleeplessness nights must end or at very least lessen until I am not waking more tired than when I went to bed. Today it begins.

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