Something for you to think about whilst I waffle on…. When was the last time you can think that you were the original you? By this I mean no stress, no frustration, no hang ups, no self loathing or self doubt, no cynicism, simply accepting of what people say and do, happy, thoughtful, loving, naive maybe, seeing things through a child’s eyes and thinking the world was full of hope.
This week has brought this time for me flying back into my memory palace and with it has come the same sense of joy, laughter, innocence and has warmed my heart and made my face light up. All brought about by a single voice. A fast track journey to a place where everything had been possible and the world was huge and mine to explore as I chose fit.
With having to battle/beat/manage depression I have had to really look at the inside me and search out who I was, what I liked, what I should enhance and what I should let go, so this process is normal to me but can phase you if it’s the first time you have taken a look. It can be uncomfortable and scarey, it can be bleak and lonely but out of the searching you will see the you that has been covered with layers of life and hidden away.
How do you capture this and bring it to today? How do you hold onto it without brushing it against all that may taint it? What do you have to do to hold this for longer than a moment? I’m not sure I have found the answer but if you can hold onto it, whether in your memory palace, your physical being or your soul, at least you can always travel there again. For me this has always been there, stretching it’s head into my present over the years but always withdrawing when something called life took over. This time I think it’s here for good, in some capacity it’s come home to settle.
Finding the you, stripped back and bare is a cathartic experience and a must to find who you are, have become, will be. A place, a word, a face, a name, a smell, an experience or a voice; something triggers those moments, those years, those hours where it was nothing but then, nothing but bliss, nothing but a future of possible. It can come again if you are willing to be bare once more.