How many times in a day, in a week, in a year do you bite your tongue and hold back from what you are wanting to say? It’s not being rude to say what you think, it’s being real. How you say it and the intent behind it are what makes it rude or real I think.
I am known for saying things as they are and many people do not like this. If I love it, I say. If I dislike it or disapprove, I say. To me that is being honest, to others it’s rude. How odd. If someone asks my opinion I naively assume they actually want what I think but I guess sometimes they ask for other reasons…. I don’t always register this but even if I did I’m pretty certain my response wouldn’t change.
I have ruined, set back and damaged my career in the past because I don’t say what people want, I say it as I see it. If people can’t handle that it’s not really my problem. Just don’t ask my opinion! I can feel some of you taking an sharp intake of breath thinking that I’m harsh but I never regret my opinion as I know the intent behind it is always with love. It’s because I care, it’s because I want someone to be better or grow or learn. That’s not always how it’s seen and I get that but it doesn’t stop me.
If I ask “how does this dress look” I expect someone to be honest, good or bad and it’s the same no matter what the subject matter. I’m asking because I want their opinion not because I want an ego boost or specific clarification that what I think is right. If someone disagrees it’s perfectly okay to tell me. Some people call me opinionated and that’s fine with me. I am. I have a viewpoint on many things and if I see it may help by stating it, I do. If I’m not going to add value or know it would unnecessarily hurt, I keep my viewpoint to myself.
For many years I spent biting my tongue at home because I wanted to avoid confrontation when actually all it did was cause confrontation, frustration and a lack of honesty and openness. That only leads down the disaster route. I learnt the hard way and now if something needs saying I say it because the consequences of not doing are way too high. It’s for good not just bad. If I see someone, even a stranger, who I think looks fabulous or is wearing amazing shoes or a family in a restaurant who have impeccably mannered children, I will tell them. Everyone needs to hear the truth.
So I ask again, what are you holding back from saying and who do you need to say it to? Say it with the right intent and say it with an open heart but do say it.