Learning to be strong, learning choice is an option

I love the fact that in life we have choices. I despair when people complain about their lives as it was choices they made that got them where they are. No apologies if that sounds callous as I get tired of the woe is me world we live in. 

You have choice. You made choices to get to where you are. If you don’t like where you are, take responsibility for the choices you made and then make new ones. I know they will be more difficult now, especially if you have got into a complicated situation but if you can be brutally honest with yourself and accept responsibility instead of blaming others, you will find it much easier to find new ways and step forward.

Sometimes when I write I can visualise who I write for, not necessarily the actual person, but the type, the character and yes sometimes the specific. How? Because one of those was me and really not so very long ago. I’m not boasting that I beat it, I’m not professing that I am better than anyone else. I am simply laying myself open and saying I messed up. I got into a lifestyle that I created and I had to find away of accepting it or getting away from it. I was so far into despair I was actually happy to see who I had become, accept responsibility for my part, see with clarity all my faults and demons and then face them head on. 

When your life gets so bad and the choice is simply change or stop the world, it’s an easier choice to make. I thankfully had people around me willing to support me choosing change.

Choices do not have to be major, earth shattering ones. In fact they should be small. Small changes, compounded in time, will become the big things, the monumental things you achieve in your life. Pick the easy choices, the ones you can control easily, the ones that give you confidence to choose to do something else differently. If you are process minded, create a flow chart and see ahead what the impact is of whatever choice you make. If you are more visual draw pictures or colours that means success to you. If you prefer to think emotionally, how will the choices make you feel?

Don’t give yourself too many. The first one is the big one and that is the same for everyone. “Do I choose to change my life or do I stay living how I currently live and accept it for what it is?” After that the choices are yours and yours alone. You have choice. You have a chance to change your life however you wish. You have the chance to create a new life, a different life, a happier or more fulfilling life. You have control. 

It’s a bit like learning to drive a car I guess. At first it’s like the car is controlling you and your decisions but with practice,  concentration, determination and an awareness of your surroundings, you take control of the car until it becomes second nature. That’s life!

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