A gift. Mine to give.

I was created with a gift and it’s only the last three years I have known about it. I was given a heart and I was given two hands. Some may say that this isn’t much of a gift but what you have is not always the only part, it’s how and why you use them.

My heart. This is to love. To give love. To receive love. To be love. This isn’t some kind of romantic gesture, this is to empathise with everyone I come into contact with, whether face to face, on line or passing strangers in the street. This love is endless, as huge or as small as someone needs, is unconditional and mine to give and receive.

My hands. I have two ordinary hands. They are not remarkable, in fact they are small, ageing and have relatively short stumpy fingers but I know something quite magical happens when my hands begin to work. When I lay my hands on another human being they can read, they can transmit and receive emotion and they can heal. 

Read? Yes read. When my hands move over a person on my massage table I am reading their bodies. I am reading what their muscles say, how their skin feels, where their emotions are stuck or flowing and I read pain, stress, emotional abuse, lethargy and tiredness. The person to whom this body belongs doesn’t have to tell me much, they give it all to me without a word and if they choose to change things we do this too, together. It’s an honour and a privilege.

I give thanks every single morning, about this time, through my meditation. I give thanks for my heart and my hands, for the trust people put in me and for the healing we can source and utilise together. 

Some people would call me a massage therapist, some think I rub people all day, some people think I just provide a treat for special occasions and yes I am all of that. What I also give is space, time, a new way to breathe, a regular place to just be, a sanctuary, a safety zone to be who they need to be, to recharge, to stop. I give my hands. I give my heart. I give my everything and I teach that person to be a better version of themselves as they can then teach others the same. It’s all about duplication, ripples on a pond.

My gifts are my hands and my heart – what’s yours and how will you use them today?

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Good vibrations

If anyone starting humming at that title you just gave away your age. This isn’t about the music industry or times gone by or even rock and roll, it’s simply about your body. Your body is intrincially aware of all that goes on around it, even when consciously you are not. It’s picking up on the vibrations of the world around it and sometimes you need to focus in and listen to what it’s telling you. Some will call it intuition, some say it’s their gut feeling, but it’s just your body picking up on the world around it. Some choose to listen, some do not.

Here’s the clever thing though, your body doesn’t just pick up and act as a receiver, it also gives out vibrations and acts as a transmitter. We are an awesome bit of machinery, the best ever created I think. The designer of the human race, whomever that may be, was a very clever, ingenious designer, engineer, artist and creator.

Here’s the thing though, we get to chose how we use it. We don’t come fully programmed. We aren’t infallible. We do definitely make mistakes. But, the one thing that defines us all is what beats in our chests 24/7. Our hearts. This piece of muscle is what keeps us alive but also defines who we are. We all know someone we would call hard hearted or heartless, knowing that they have one but it’s just they don’t use it for love.

Every year on Valentine’s Day we send cards with hearts on. Why? Because that is how we identify love. Our creator made it for life but with that it came with the additional purpose, love and this is where our beautiful beating hearts and our vibrating bodies come into their own. If you feel love in your heart, for yourself, for others, for where you live, your country your God, it doesn’t matter what as long as you feel it, because when you do your body naturally emits this outwards.

It doesn’t question where the love is going. It doesn’t filter the amount, it simply emits it like a bright and beautiful beacon. You know when someone is in love, you know when someone is a loving person and others know and can read your heart too. So what’s yours sending out I wonder? Are you able to send it out to those you don’t know, who hurt or anger you? Those who may be the reason you loved and lost it? That’s the challenge.

You were created to love, it’s a natural instinct. Only life teaches us how to hate and destroy. Both are powerful energies to be sending out but only one can achieve something so beautiful, it’s impossible to describe. Which one will you vibrate today? It’s your choice.

Do it with passion

I spoke to a young man today who chatted and was lovely to talk to but then he began to tell me what he really loved and wanted to do in his life. I saw a fire ignite in him. I saw a passion rise in his chest. I saw a light begin to burn in the very centre of his being and roar out of him like a tsunami, starting small and gradually building until it became totally intoxicating and overpowering to listen.

He knew, quite clearly that what he does now is a means to an end and that where he is going is along a path that takes him to his destiny. Clarity. Certainty. Passion. It was a privilege to hear him speak with such conviction and surety.

Listening to him made me wonder if that is how I speak of what I do. I certainly hope so.

I wonder if that is how you speak of what you do? If it is I am so happy for you as you are clearly living your dream. If it isn’t do you need to make choices and take risks to do what you love? It may look impossible but as you see in many motivational pictures, ‘impossible’ is simply ‘I’m possible’. I honestly believe that if you really want something you can, with hard work, determination and courage live the life you want.

I can hear some of you saying “don’t be ridiculous, I can’t, my life is too complicated to do that, not with my luck, my life is too hard to change it” and you go on and on finding reasons why you don’t deserve your dreams. I just ask why? Why don’t you deserve your dream? Why aren’t you worth it? Why should you put your dreams on hold – because it’s too hard? Of course it’s hard, otherwise it wouldn’t feel  like a sense of achievement would it!

So, whilst you plan and set your dreams in place try doing what you currently do with passion and see if it feels any different. 

Pressing the reset button

Do you ever wish you could stop, press a reset button and restart, just like you do when your laptop is misbehaving itself. I do believe this morning I have woken and am ready to do just that and I’m really excited by it. Not that I have stopped loving who I am or what I do, not that at all but the how and the mindset just have to change and so my finger is poised above my personal reset button and ready to action.

I’m going right back to my why, my reason for doing what I do and being the person I am. I’m stripping bare everything – who, what, why, when and how. My mirror to see the reality is poised and my scales for balance have been reset and calibrated. This may be messy but I’m so excited to see the outcome. I actually have butterflies racing round my stomach this morning, I woke that way and that’s not happened in a while so I know this is a must today.

So enough about me, what do you need to reset today? Have you got so many things running round your head you can’t think straight? Get them out onto paper, every last thing in there. I promise you they won’t appear so big or unwieldy when you do. In black and white they will become clear in priority, importance and sometimes can even make you see they don’t need doing, it’s just your conscience mind giving you things to play with you.

Have you stopped loving what you do? Have you actually fallen out of love or does it just not look like it did when you began? So what do you want it to look like? Once you have that picture in your mind start to jot down some steps to get there and see what are easy winnings, what need some time or finances and what are simply “some day” visions. Then action it.

Do you need to think differently? Have you become stuck in your thought processes, how you see what you do or how you think you could do them? Maybe finding some others who do similar work and watching, learning and throwing ideas around will help. Maybe just thinking out of the box; writing thoughts, drawing pictures, words, colours, emotions and getting your creative juices flowing will stimulate a new thought. Follow it up, no matter how off the wall it seems. It may be your new line, service, product that you just created. It may even be a new you!

Today is a day for me to press the button. I can even see the one I’m pressing. It’s small, raised, red and will, once pressed, set off fireworks, colourful, exciting, stimulating fireworks and fill my world with a new energy. My finger is poised…..

Giving thanks is better than antibiotics

I have been unfortunate enough this week to have my first ever bout of tonsillitis.  It’s pretty rubbish, debilitating and totally energy zapping with emotional destruction thrown in. All that and you don’t want to eat because it hurts. I have antibiotics and if I chose to, could lie in my bed feeling sorry for myself but this is where being grateful comes in…..

I have this afternoon lain in bed but have been giving thanks for all I have. A beautiful view from my window, time to let my thoughts do what they need to do, talk to my beautiful sister and drink in her wise words, let my unnecessary emotions go, make decisions for my future, take time to love me, take time to tell those I love how much I really do love them, support and cheer on those who are also struggling in their lives and be thankful that I have so many people keeping an eye out for me.

I am truly blessed.

Whilst my throat still looks like a mountain range covered in yellow slime (sorry for the gross description), I have the headache from hell and the exhaustion is debilitating, I feel so much better because being poorly has given me time to see what I have instead of what I don’t. Being poorly has shown me that I just have a throat infection and I’m not suffering a long term illness or disability. Being poorly has given my head the space to defunk and I have found solace in love and gratitude for life.

We are so quick to wallow in our own self pity sometimes, seeing the dark, the sad, the misery in life and swallow all the pills and potions our medical profession has to make  us better and yet, if we take only the positives, see the rainbows, those little patches of sunshine in a dark sky and say thank you for the time to just be, recovery is so much easier, brighter and faster. 

Next time you feel like life is giving you a hard time and stopping  you from getting on with what you think needs doing, just stop and see what it’s offering you instead. Maybe, just maybe, the universe is saying “woah you are heading down the wrong path, I’m blocking you until you see there are alternative routes to journey on”. Listen to the universe, she is very wise….

When it all gets too much….just sit

There are times when this world of mine gets too loud. It’s the only way I can explain it. People are too noisy, everything is moving too fast and the sights and smells are totally overwhelming. Not so very long ago I would have let this get to me or crumpled and given in to it all. No more. No I just accept that it’s all a bit much and I just have to sit and let it go by.

It’s like being on a busy road with noise, and traffic fumes, people riding your bumper, hooting horns and shouting at you for sticking to the speed limit. I feel the need to pull over, stop, take a breath and let all the traffic go by, maybe heading home (back to me) via a smaller road than the motorway.

Sometimes it’s nice to have someone to sit beside you and sometimes it’s better to be alone but I no longer feel guilt or loss or bad about having to stop, sit and breathe. Life sometimes is just too much for all of us and do you know, it’s okay to admit that! You aren’t mad, you aren’t losing it, you aren’t failing, you aren’t in a bad place, you simply need to give yourself space and slow your world down.

When the busyness of life gets in the way of our vision we don’t always see others also struggling with life. Look around you now, especially if you in a busy environment, an office, a shopping arcade…. Just watch people and see how many are struggling. Never be too busy in your own life or your own personal noise to miss others who might just need a kind world, a smile or a hand on their arm to say it’s okay, you aren’t alone.

Never be too busy to miss others who feel like you sometimes do and offer them a hand of friendship. You can’t always fix them but can let them know they aren’t alone in how they feel. Let them know it’s okay to sit and let it pass.

It’s all about persepctive

Isn’t it funny how two people can see the same situation from a totally different viewpoint. This can be emotionally so hard, especially if you are the one in the middle of the situation. 

When you see a couple, loving, caring, happy with their lives you see it at face value and ask no questions. When you see your partner as angry, sarcastic, mentally abusive you wonder why others don’t see it? When you see your life as hard, not enough, going nowhere, why do others wish they were you?

It’s all about perspective. Sometimes you just don’t want to see, sometimes others make sure you only see what they want you to and sometimes you aren’t even looking. 

After 22 years of what others saw as a relatively happy marriage no wonder people were surprised when I walked away, even my husband and children. Why? Because I didn’t communicate that life was anything other than rosey except to myself or was it that I was so close I could no longer see what others saw? It’s all about perspective

After working in an environment I thought I loved, nurtured me and grew me, why when I stepped away did I realise it was stifling me and only then did I begin to grow? It’s all about perspective.

Take a look at your life and if something is hard, makes you frustrated, angry or sad try looking at it through someone else’s eyes or, if you are feeling brave, ask someone else what they see. You may be surprised at the differences or they may confirm what you see. If you see your life as happy, settled, and all those around you are made happy by your actions and choices, take another look, or better still ask them if you are brave enough, just to make sure that you aren’t blindly making someone else’s life harder or sadder than it has to be.

I did. I thought I was keeping things afloat, making those I loved and cared for happy, keeping my anger and sadness on the inside. I wasn’t and only when did I see the reality was I able to make changes, make choices about what had to be and give both them and me the life we all deserved.

You don’t have to make drastic, life changing changes but sometimes it’s good to just look through someone else’s eyes or from a different angle at a situation to see how else it appears. It can be a life changer and all for the better. With a different perspective comes happiness, personal growth, inner strength and peace and with all that you give more to others.

Fluent in silence

The noise of life can sometimes get too much for me and I have to find a way of escaping and even though my head is sometimes too busy I find space in there, I step inside, I close my eyes and I find my silence. 

Do you get that, does it make sense? Do you ever feel like you want to take the volume switch of the world, your immediate world, your head and simply turn it down. This is what I teach people to do. It’s so very important, for our sanity and our thought processes, to be able to find silence.

I am a sensitive soul and that just means that I feel everything ten fold and when there’s a lot going on in my life; family, career, worries, future plans and so on it sometimes gets too much. I had to find a coping mechanism or I would have totally lost all self control and sanity a long time since. My inner silent spot is it. I have taught myself to enter a place that is sound proofed, it’s warm, it’s safe and my thoughts can either be dealt with in there or popped on the shelf outside until I come back out calm and refreshed.

We all need a place like this. It could be a physical place, it could be an inner place. Only you know, I just help people find the key and let themselves in. To be in that place where the silence is loudest, where there is choice in what you experience, when time gets put on hold but mainly where you are in control is the most beautiful, refreshing, empowering place you can be.

If today, tomorrow, next month all seems too noisy know that I am here – fluent in silence.

Cost or value – what do you see

Someone said recently about a tooth  abcess that it was “going to cost a fortune”. It made me wonder whether I would see that as a cost or see the value. Obviously I would have to acknowledge that it’s an expensive fix but after suffering an abcess before I think the latter for me would win. 

How many times I wonder though do we throughout our day, our lives, see the cost to things rather than the value they give us. That ego speaks and we look at the negative. Our conscious brain tells us “this is tough, this is expensive, we can’t manage this, we are being selfish, we don’t deserve this.”

If something you really want is going to be tough do you look at the time you are going to have to give it? The stretching of your comfort zone? The rejection? The possibility or failure? Are you just seeing the cost or are you the type of person who can see all that and acknowledge it but actually focus on the value it will bring? A new career, a personal gain, success or increased wealth.

It’s not about being a person who sees the cup as half full or half empty (as either way it can always be topped up), it’s about seeing further than the discomfort of the now that sometimes happens. Living in the now, today, right his minute is absolutely the way to go for me as there is no way I can control what happens next week or in six months time, I can only control now, so focussing on the value at the end of this uncomfortable phase, this expense in whatever that means to you, makes it more manageable.

Try it today. When your butt cheeks grab as you pay dearly for something, financially or personally, check the value you will gain. Have you relaxed or at least seen its worth for this initial discomfort?

Battle of the sexes?

Now then, being a woman I am very conscious that women, in some situations, have a hard time in the men vs women story. I am conscious that we sometimes get paid less, valued less, have to work harder and have to juggle everything in our lives by being a woman, a friend, a wife, a mum, a chef, a lover as well as a breadwinner. Sorry ladies this blog just isn’t about us. 

Since working as a self employed massage therapist, I have come across many men who experience similar issues but don’t always have the support network that we appear to have created for ourselves (whether I think these are the right thing is another blog entirely).

This is for the gentle men I see during my week and who are in my life in whatever capacity and no I didn’t mean to write gentlemen, I really do mean gentle men. 

A man in this day and age has to wear as many hats as a woman. He’s a man, he’s a mate, he’s one of the lads, he’s lover, husband, dad and breadwinner. He is tough, the strong one, macho and keeps his emotions locked away – remember a man never cries. What utter rubbish….

Why do we woman sometimes feel they have the monopoly on stress, hurting, being hurt, pressured, overwhelmed by life or just plain sad? Men experience as many emotions and feel failings as much as a woman but as a society we place on them an expectation to cope. My massage table and my therapies tell me otherwise. I feel honoured, as a woman, to hold  the space for a man to step into and be the person, the man, the human being he needs to be. To give him the time to step back, away from life for an hour or so and just breathe.

There will always be differences in the man vs woman experience but isn’t that what we love, that we are not the same? But underneath it all we are all working to the same end: to be happy, to love and be loved, to be successful in whatever we love doing and to survive this rollercoaster we call life. It’s time to stand side by side, accept our differences, even celebrate the differences, love when we can and acknowledge that we are all humans needing other humans. The time to belittle, blame, compete with on a stress level, ridicule the others failings and assume our life is tougher than the others is at an end. It’s time to care for, nurture, empathise, love, give space to and acknowledge that our trials, issues, worries, stresses are the same.

Men? Women? We may sometimes feel like we are from Venus or Mars but under it all we are all here to be the best versions of ourselves so let’s march forward together when we can.