What does it mean to you to be getting older? Do you worry about what little time you may have left or are you someone who embraces what you have? I am the latter. Things may have been different if I hadn’t lost my mum when she was just sixty and to be totally honest until a few short years ago I was allowing myself to put my own lifespan at the same age and couldn’t see beyond.
Quite ridiculous to think that way but I was really struggling to see beyond that number. Now I realise that the end could be next week, in 2020 or I may live to be 100 and I know I’m okay with all of that as I’ve made peace with myself so I live every single day. I don’t take for granted what I have or what I’ve learnt and I enjoy all I have.
I don’t know about you but I embrace being older. Being older seems to bring with it a different outlook. I see this part of my life as gaining more understanding; about people, attitudes, communication and I see how my past experiences interweave with what I do now and the lessons I learnt can be applied all over again.
I am more fascinated by people, places, how things work and interact. What I thought was plain is now beautiful and I see beauty in very different ways, places and actions. I’m more tolerant. I understand that people have stories and experiences that you know nothing about, so I’m more tolerant of behaviours or actions. I use what I have and what I know to give to those who may find it helpful – trying to give them a shortcut around some of the pain I may have experienced doing the same thing. I should perhaps let them learn the hard way too but maybe their lesson is in something else so it saves them time.
I feel older in a good way. This means I’m wiser, more tolerant, I feel beautiful, I’m at peace with myself, I have time and experience to give away, I have love in abundance and want to share it and I’m no longer afraid of a number or what life my hold or how long it may be. What comes, comes and I will deal with it all as it does. Friends and family may become ill, or may even die so I make sure I love them, show them friendship and have fun now, not just tomorrow.
I weave what I’ve learnt, what I’ve experienced into today, into now. I take the good, the bad and all the learning and I bring them into where and who I am today. I’m not ashamed to be getting older. In fact if I was offered to repeat a time in my life I would turn it down. Everything I did, said, experienced, whether that be heart breaking, happy or painfully awkward is a part of the woman who stands here today. I’m still learning. I’m still learning who I am, what I’m capable of achieving, my sexuality, my sense of humour, my tolerance level, my spirituality, my capacity to give and to love. So much more to do, to live, to be.
If I only have today, then I’m thankful I shared with you (whoever out in the world reads this blog) my thoughts, my feelings, my life learnings and if you gained one thing from them, then I have served a purpose. But if tomorrow I wake, then I will be thankful and we will do this all again. Be grateful for age, it brings so much more than it takes away.