Do you know your beautiful

We are rubbish at taking compliments aren’t we! If someone tells us “you look nice” or ” wow your skin looks amazing today” or even “nice shoes”, we struggle to just say thank you. It’s usually followed by “oh it’s just something I borrowed or it’s not as nice as last week or I’m not sure about them”. 

Heaven forbid someone should tell you today that you are beautiful! I look in the mirror in the morning and sometimes wonder where the young, clear skinned, wrinkle free girl has gone, I think that is natural.  But do you know I love looking at the woman I’ve become. The lines, the marks, the ageing, they all come from the life I’ve had and everything I’ve done has made me the woman I now am and that my friends is huge.

We may not wish to get older, we may prefer the face we used to have, we may get up looking a bit baggy round the edges and tired but that doesn’t make you any less beautiful. This is as a man or woman. Why people think a man shouldn’t look beautiful too I don’t know and if you prefer the word handsome please feel free to transpose that in.

Whatever you do, whoever you are shines through in your face. If you are angry, negative or sad it’s clear. Your eyes tell 1001 stories, your skin no longer glows, you become pale and you seem to create more lines and wrinkles than you started with. If, on the other hand, you smile, you are at peace with yourself and your world and you are a positive thinker you will see a clear difference. You will seem to glow, your eyes will gain back their sparkle, you will gain a youthful flush to your skin and you will shine. You radiate what you think, how you think and feel, whether you intend to or not. If you can’t see it it others will, those who know you well.

Telling yourself you are beautiful, even if you feel a long way from feeling it, also helps. See the person behind, the one under the skin, the person you really are. You ARE beautiful. You are beautiful to look at, you are beautiful inside and you give beauty to others in your smile, your gestures and your actions. If you are feeling really brave today and you see someone who should be told they look beautiful, why not go tell them. So unbritish but believe me you will make their day. I love doing that and then walking away as I know I have left behind a slightly bewildered but very happy person.

Go, start your day…..be beautiful 💕

Just before dawn

This is a time and place I know well. I love this time where the night hasn’t left, yet the day hasn’t quite arrived either. It’s that peaceful silence where all has potential.

Just before dawn is a place where I sit, in solitude, silence, reflecting the night just past and the day yet to begin. It’s my time for checking on me, seeing how I feel, what worries I need to give up to the universe and what possibilities there are to live today.

Just before dawn is my time, my place, my moment in the world that belongs to no one but me. There is no end, no beginning, no urgency, no noise. There is no having to, there’s no being needed. There are no deadlines, there are no targets, there are no emails or phone calls or messages that need to be answered. There is peace of mind, there is a gentleness about this time, this time that is mine.

This is my moment, my moment to breathe, to witness beginnings, to say farewell to time past. This is my music, my dance, my painting, my writing. This is my creative. This is the inner me expressing all that she is and all that she has potential to be. No one can steal the dawn.

As with anything it all moves forward and as I see the light beginning to creep more boldly,more forcefully into the sky and I know my time is done. The noises of the day begin. The birds are awakening, the animals in their fields stirring, the occasional car passes on its way to or from work. The house begins to stir and make its new day sounds and I know it’s time to begin.

No matter what the day brings, just before dawn can never be taken from me. This time, this calm, this gentleness, this silence is breathing inside of me throughout my day and I am at peace. 

I can see the mist lifting and the silhouettes of the trees are appearing as if by magic so I know it’s time to press on, so I ask you to consider where your moment of “just before dawn” is? Where do you go and what time do you take to find it, experience it, breathe it? This is my time and it gives me the strength and power to go into my day and hold this space, this time, this moment for others. They come to me to find “just before dawn” where only they exist.

Who sits at your table?

If you think of your life laid out in front of you on a table how interesting it would be. To have laid out all you have done, all you have been and all you have created would be a sight wouldn’t it? All those things you have forgotten you’ve achieved or didn’t acknowledge them as achievements. All the people you have loved and lost. All the places your have seen or experienced and all the changes in you personally, laid out in front of you to relive again.

The question is who sits round your table to share them?

Say you only have a table with five or ten seats and it’s down to you to say who sits in them. Which friends would you have round that table to share your life. I’m not talking family here, they are a given, this is where you get to choose your friends. 

Most of my adult life I have spent trying to be invisible, avoiding friendships as I didn’t feel worthy and I didn’t trust enough as I’d been bullied for so long but nowadays I have many but these chairs are few so I need to choose wisely. Who is most honest? Who is most loyal? Who makes me laugh even on dark days? Who is always there when I need them? Who is my friend no matter what we say or share? Who is there unconditionally? 

These questions may actually cut out quite a few people when you ask yourself them and if you are being absolutely honest with yourself. Sometimes we surround ourselves with people who are like minded, fun to be with, share similar interests etc but when it comes down to it, if you had reached your lowest or highest point would they still be there? Some will and some won’t. Not all want the responsibility of true friendship so choose wisely and surround your table with those are there for the long haul.

You may have someone you share your secrets with. You may have someone who inspires you to be a better you. You may have someone you can safely lose yourself in a bottle of wine with. You may have one who shares your love of sports. You may have one openly tells you the truth even when you don’t feel like hearing it. You may have one you gives the best hugs and you may have one who is always there, who just pops ups when you seem to need them.

Think carefully, places are limited. Who deserves to be at your table? Who deserves the friendship you give? Who deserves to receive the love, understanding, fun and friendship you are offering? Who deserves to be your friend?

The end is the beginning

What’s the last thing you do every night before you sleep? Do you have a routine? I’m taking washing and cleaning your teeth for granted but what else? Do you simply get into bed and crash out or is there something more to the end of your day.

Mine ends in gratitude. Gratitude for all that has been that day. Not just the good stuff, but the less palitable too as its a combination of both that gives me balance and growth. It ends with the moon and wishing those I miss a blessing of love and sending my heart to theirs. Then and only then do I fall in an exhausted heap and sleep

So if the end has a routine, as you can possibly imagine, so does the beginning of a day. My thoughts (and this has taken time to become a routine) are of thanks again, thanks for waking and all that the day brings. I make sure that is done before I rise and go through my Miracle Morning routine of mediation, reading, affirmations etc.

Both are the same every day, both are habitual and if I ever do miss them (I’m only human and can have one glass of wine too many and simply fall aslep) I notice there is something not quite balanced in my day and, heaven forbid, if I missed a couple of days I would be totally out of sorts.

So how do we define the end and the beginning or vice versa? I think as a human race we very much define it by the setting of the sun and it rising again, the end of one day and then it begins anew. Really I don’t think there is a cut off, a finality, an absolute stop to one day before one begins again, I think we seemlessly move forward, continuously rather like a never ending coil.

If there is no real beginning or end to the day is there really a true beginning and end to life? On a physical level very definitely and I don’t know anyone that would dispute that but I’m asking if there is more to you, me, us, than that. Sometimes you hear say of a new baby “they’ve been here before” or ” she’s an old soul that one”. Do they really know what they are saying? Do they genuinely believe the spirit of that baby has been before and is now learning something new and continuing their journey?  

I know my opinion and that debate will come, but for today I just want you to consider life as more than a beginning and an end. If someone you love passes, is it really final? Maybe in the physical but their spirit? Maybe that’s moved on to its new beginning, to live again, to learn something new? Memories they leave behind are definitely here to stay as long as we have love in our hearts and a memory to store them.

If you have a loss, try considering it to be a continuous movement of a spirit, a soul (doesn’t really matter what you call it’s) and although the physical has worn away some other part of them goes on, especially in your heart, and no one can take that away except you.

Put your mind at peace

How much noise do you have in your head right now? How many thoughts are running round in there? Work, kids, family, the weekend, shopping, holidays, someone’s illness, your illness, heartbreak, celebration, a presentation you have to do, a place you have to go, someone you need to talk to….. There could be hundreds of things but do you know we can’t actually think of more than one thing at a time.

If you really want to focus and achieve you have to get rid of the noise. You have to be brave enough to choose one of those threads of a thought, a worry, an item on your to do list and let the rest sit on one side. You have to give it all your attention, allowing nothing else to distract you until your thought is done.

That’s not to say you only actually see that one thing through to the end before you start another, I’m talking of the thoughts in your head. Your head needs space to think and whilst you have 101 things all vying for attention none of them will win. 

Try it. Just pick one thing you need to think about. Funnily enough you may struggle with this as sometimes we have so many things we think are important and needing our attention that, when we a really give it space and time, it doesn’t really need it at all. So pick one….. What is it that a needs doing? Who needs to be involved? Can you delegate or get someone else to help? When does it need doing and why? Where do you need to be, to go? How long do you need to give it? When you have answered all the questions you have surrounding the one thing you’ve chosen you can then decide its priority in your day. Can you write it down and add it to a job list or is it something you need to do immediately? If so do it, stop procrastinating, stop putting it off and do it.

And move to the next….

This is not a long process and you shouldn’t be spending copious amounts of time on this. It’s a sifting process to clear your head and give it space to actually help you achieve rather than think so keep the flow and keep moving.

I don’t have time! Really? You have time to fret about 101 things but you don’t have time to logically do one at a time? I think I know which will be more productive and give you back time that’s been missing for a long while and I think you know too but it’s doing things differently and that takes some getting used to.

Consciously slow your head down. Maybe sit with a cup of tea in the morning and take five minutes whilst you drink it and get your thoughts in order. Maybe whilst you travel to work or maybe whilst you are on the treadmill at the gym or in the shower. I am sure you all have a space, a time and the capacity to do this but we humans are funny creatures and tell ourselves we can’t, we don’t and actually believe ourselves….

Give your head space, give your thoughts the attention they deserve, prioritise and let go of what you don’t need. Feel they difference.

Namaste 💕

Mantra time

I am strong, I am powerful, I am beautiful, I am successful. After yesterday’s black dog day I feel like a huge step forward has been made and life has resumed. I knew I couldn’t stay in that place and it was going to be different by the end of the day, I just wasn’t sure of the how. Cancelling things I could, serious meditation, using a guided one on the internet which I don’t normally do and a coaching session allowed me to put myself back in the place I now live, far far away from the dark, sad world of the past.

My mantra today is simply an affirmation to remind myself that my world is what I create. I am as successful as I decide to be. I live the life I choose. All of this can be achieved very easily because I am strong, I am powerful, I am beautiful and I am successful.

What’s your mantra if you use one. If you stood in front of the mirror and chose words to tell yourself who and what you are, what words would you use? You may feel silly the first few times you do this but in time it will be natural and you will believe and start to transform your confidence and therefore your life.

Choose positive, strong, powerful, moving words. Words you can attach an image and an emotion to so that every time you use the words you are emotionally connected to them. You must use the words ‘I am’ as an affirmation. This moment is all about you. Do it whilst you wash your face, have a shower, have a shave, get dressed for your day or eat your breakfast or even in the car as you drive. It really doesn’t matter as long as you feel what you say and say it with conviction. Every single day this has to happen and in time (and yes it may take a couple of weeks) you will feel a difference. The embarrassment will be gone, you will look yourself in the eye and believe the words.

You can use this mantra when days are tougher than others, when someone puts you down or just to boost you up on a slow day. You can change it to be appropriate  as you change. Let the words come from your heart, don’t be shy about who you are but if you aren’t sure of the words think about what you aspire to be. More confident? Then ‘I am confident’. More assertive? Then ‘I am assertive’. More loving. Then ‘I am loving and loved’. You get this…..

Choose your mantra and I dare you to try it for two weeks and be prepared to meet the new you when you look in the mirror…..

The day of the dog

The black dog appears like a shadow from the darkness wrapping itself around. Uninvited. Unwanted. Who does he think he is, this creature I do not wish to see? 

An incident, no matter how small or even unrelated to yourself can give this vile beast a way in. He knows when you are vulnerable and he hovers in the background waiting, ready to pounce and take you by surprise. 

Shake him off!!! Don’t let him take hold!!! Run!!!!

He nips at your heels, it’s tempting to slow down and give in. But you mustn’t. You must never give this animal space in your life or he will never get the message that he’s no longer wanted. 

The dog is sniffing, searching for an opening, waiting, pacing. He will not get in. That door is firmly shut.  

If you too are feeling him walking behind you today please don’t turn round and encourage him. Be strong, you are better than him. You can beat him. You can close the door and keep him away. 

Courage my friend. 

Do you know what energy is?

Do you ever have moments where you are feeling really good and you chat to someone who’s having a bad day or are just generally negative and gradually you feel what they feel too? Do you ever feel exhausted after being with a large group of people all day? Have you ever known how someone else really feels even though they telling you the opposite? This is all energy. We are energy and we all give off and therefore attract the energy of the world around us. Sometimes that is okay and sometimes really not. 

I had a client recently who I could tell had been round other people who we’re having a really tough time. Not just one person but a group of people over a short period of time. Their energy that we were clearing with reiki was sticky. It was black, smoke like, but sticky. During reiki there is an energy flow from me to the client and back again, I am simply a portal for energy. This was so strong is actually made me cough as it went through me, an old smokers cough and then was gone.

If you are a particularly sensitive person you will know how someone is feeling even without them telling you because you are picking up their bodies energy. You will, if you don’t protect yourself, will pick up on that energy too and again if you don’t realise you have it, this can totally turn your day around. That moment when you think “gosh I was feeling so good earlier, what is the matter with me” is one of those moments. 

Say you are having a good day at work but you have to deal with a group of people who are vexed about something. How do you feel when you’ve been in their presence? Are you now a little agitated, awkward, out of sorts? If yes, then you’ve picked up some of their energy. You don’t have to be agreeing with them or interacting with them much but being a sensitive soul you will collect their energy. So how do you stop this, because stop this you must.

Protection. Now bear with me if this is all new to you. This is serious stuff and can save you from feeling really rotten when it’s not even your emotions. Every morning as I go through my meditation I protect myself, it takes seconds. I imagine a few things…. If it’s just a normal day I imagine a white light in a circle around my feet and I get the light to rise up and keep going as far above me as possible and then any negativity will bounce straight off. If it’s a particular person I am interacting with and I don’t want them to get to me I put that person in a bubble so their energy can’t reach me (if they are really getting to me I also blow them away in their bubble). Finally if I am travelling or the group is going to be really negative (my old workplace was a fabulous example) I actually enclose myself in an egg made of concrete. This is beautiful inside and soft and warm but nothing is coming through those walls.

Now this may seem weird, especially if this is new to you, but try it. You have to really visualise it and feel what you have created, so it can take practice but seriously give it a go and notice the difference. Your energy can make or break a day and remember. What you pick up you can also give to another so be careful. Energy is powerful, amazing and who you are so make sure it is positive and strong and loving. In fact all the emotions you want to give to others. They will receive it even if you don’t realise.

It’s all about time

Making time….. Wouldn’t it be fabulous is we could make more time. Maybe to do new things, to make something we are enjoying go on longer, maybe give someone whose life is being cut short an extended period. No matter how clever scientists are, no matter how much we try, we have what we have and no more. How we choose to use time maybe the difference in your day.

If you choose to squander what you have you will always go through life feeling that things are a waste of time. My son is a great example when he tells me his geography classes are a waste of time. I think that of most television programmes and I’m sure you have things in your life you would say it about.

Time can never be changed. Fact. Time can be made to feel longer though if you make the most of every second. Think about it. Think about your day and how you spend it. Do you waste time on things you don’t even need to do but you do them out of habit.? Do you a waste time by not giving your all in something and therefore it becomes a chore and you feel like its for nothing? Do you do things for others who don’t appreciate what you do? Should you stop to see if it actually needs to be done? There are an inordinate number of things in our day that we simply do that take up time that could be better used. What are yours?

Over a year ago I decided to get up at five am every day to read, blog, meditate, exercise. It’s my time to use in a way that serves me for the rest if the day. Seven months ago I chose to work for myself so I could make sure I worked the hours I wanted to and would earn what I was worth. If I want to earn more I simply make a better choice in how I use my time. This morning I am making choices about the time I have and whether I can use it better. This occurs every morning. Today’s choice is to do a Zumba class this morning or paperwork. Paperwork is what should win as it needs to be done but Zumba gives me far more back in terms of socialising, energy levels being raised, fitness improvements and laughter, lots of laughter. It’s about looking after me to set me up for the week ahead.

How you should spend you time and what gives the best value to your day are relatively simple choices but sometimes we find it easier to just go with the flow, or maybe some choice is taken away by someone else owns part of your time. 

Making time isn’t easy because you sometimes have to say no to someone or stand up to someone who has an expectation that they can ‘steal’ your time and sometimes choices are hard to make. Time, your time, is your responsibility and it’s limited. We don’t know how many hours, weeks, months, years so using every single hour for purpose, pleasure and progress is essential. You can’t make time but you can make time work for you so it feels like it.

If you only have an hour in the day with the one you love, make every one of those sixty minutes count. If you only have a week away with your children, give them every single moment possible. If you only have six months left with a loved one, make every day count. If you only give yourself an hour each day that is your time to be, don’t feel guilty throughout it.

When works not work

I’m in a quandary today. I became self employed in January 2016 and have built my business to a point I am already really proud of, with August being my best month to date. There is also the prospect of increasing steadily over the next few months with very little additional hard work on my part. And there it is….. “Very little hard work on my part”.

I have worked on working out who my ideal clients are, how many I need to break even and make profit and what other work I need to complement it to bring in extra additional income. So why am I feeling guilty about the hours I work? I believe it’s still that bit of corporate mindset I haven’t shaken off yet. That one that tells me I should work 40 hours a week, extra hours for no extra pay or benefit and that if I’m not physically exhausted I haven’t worked hard enough. But that’s why I left corporate and became self employed isn’t it, so why the guilt?

What is hard work? Hard work is what I used to do. Hard work was working every hour for the same pay with no room for anything else in my life, that included family and loved ones, oh and me! That all came with absolutely no pleasure, fun, social aspect or interest. And I miss that as hard work and want to go back to that? Is that what I should feel now at the end of my week? NO!

I am realising that this shift in my mindset still has its clashes with the old one and I need to deal with it or the guilt phases will compound and the enjoyment will be lost. My week, my month doesn’t feel like hard work because I love what I do. When you do what you love how can is possibly be hard? I work smartly. I know my numbers. I know where I’m going and how I’m getting there. I’m planning, talking, setting up the future but with absolute and total pleasure. It’s my future, my childrens future, a legacy to and for others. I make choices; I choose my hours, I choose my lifestyle, I choose to make some sacrifices short term to create wealth and financial gain in the near future, I choose to have fun in what I do.

So work is only hard, I think, when you don’t love what you do, where you are not in control and when you no longer have choice in your day to day routine. But there is one clear, resoundingly phenomenal choice you have though and that is to change it and it is possible. The inner you, the unconscious negative you will pick away telling you that you don’t deserve it, can’t do it, will find it too hard, will fail….. Tell it to shut the f**k up as you CAN do anything your heart desires with courage, support, thought, drive and a passion to live your life at your pace, within your hours and on your terms.

So what I do is work hard but it’s not hard work and the pleasure I get by giving to my clients and planning for the future for me and my family makes it easy. My work is no longer work, it’s life, it’s living, it’s fabulous.