When you are struggling with life, no matter on what scale or level who takes the wheel for you whilst you regroup, rest, calm, find your peace? If you could name someone read no more…..
If you weren’t sure on that answer or you decided that you don’t need anyone to do that or you are just too frightened of what will happen if you do, read on….
I was the captain of my own ship. That is fabulous, positive and commendable except when you also insist on also being the cabin boy and the crew and a storm has hit and the engine has broken. At this point you may want to rethink your solo voyage. It’s not clever, brave or a sign of strength to control your whole life and not allow anyone else to help and you may wish to add a new strategy for those moments when you lose control.
I chose to be arrogant enough to think I could manage everything by myself. This wasn’t just managing my life, this was that of my husband, my kids and my friends who had problems. I seemed surprised when my body, but more so my head, imploded and said stop. It took me a broken marriage, hurting my kids and rebuilding every fibre of me to be able to sit here and say to you now, before you too implode, stop.
When you can admit you have taken your eye off the ball, you no longer control anything, you are dropping most of the balls you are juggling or you simply cry an awful lot of the time, it’s time to let go of the wheel and allow someone else to steer, even for a little while. It’s not being weak, it is being courageous. It’s admitting you are not superhuman and it’s the first step to becoming a better you.
So who will take your wheel. Don’t tell me no one because I bet if you are honest there have been people hammering at your door offering help, a hand or giving you support in a whole host of small ways. You have to be brave enough to turn and ask them. This is the biggest, bravest, most courageous thing you will ever do but you have to be ready to take both hands off and allow them to steer a while or it won’t work.
I still battle today, well until relatively recently when I finally learnt what it means to share the driving. I cannot tell you what a relief it is when you can, at any moment in time, ask someone else to step up whilst you just recharge. This could be anyone in your life but maybe the person that wants to step up most is your wife, husband, parent, best friend. You may find the one person you didn’t think cared, you didn’t want to burden, you think is the biggest issue is the one standing right behind you, waiting for you to ask.
I am honoured, lucky, blessed to have that someone and it wasn’t about their capability it was about my vulnerability. It was about me being brave enough to show how vulnerable I am and simply admitting I no longer want or can tolerate a solo voyage for the remainder of my days.
Who’s your second in command and when will you be willing to ask them to take control to allow you to step back and regroup?