Be the one you are

How often are you someone else to fit the needs of those around you? How often to you say what you say to keep up with those in your friendship circle? How often do you do what you did yesterday because it’s easy rather than change to what is right?

We are all guilty of this in some capacity and if you are denying it, you are lying to yourself. I am quite opinionated but will happily go with the flow sometimes rather than explain my point if I see it’s not worth the time and effort. I will occasionally, although very infrequently nowadays, put a different hat on to please someone else. This is becoming very tiring and not in the least bit authentic so has to stop as I know and they know it’s not really me.

The one thing I don’t do, quite consciously, is do what I did yesterday. It’s been really, really difficult to break this cycle but we are talking weeks of hard work and conscious effort, not months or years, for it to be a unconscious habit to be free of the past.

I have revisited past behaviours, I have acknowledged what’s acceptable to me, what serves me and what I am comfortable with. I have eliminated the remainder. I can now stand before anyone and just be who I am in the knowledge that if they want to know me they will stay and find out more and if they don’t, they will move on. It’s okay for people to be transient in your life, in fact it’s quite healthy for this to happen. Don’t cling onto people simply because you don’t know what it’s like without them. That is not a reason to continue on the path you are on.

If you are consistently someone else or repeating what you have done before it is utterly exhausting. You have to remember all the time to be a different way to that which is natural. You have to make sure different people don’t see you in the same situation or it gets confusing for everyone there. You have to act, remember which part you are playing and constantly live a lie.

What’s wrong with the person you are? What is it about that person you dislike so much that you have another hat on every day? Who is inside just dying to show their face and be? Why are you stifling your own personality? To please another? To fit in and be accepted or because you genuinely don’t like the person you are? You know which of these is right and which is wrong, you don’t need me to tell you that and if you really don’t like who you are be brave and ask yourself why, listen to the answer, accept it and do something about it.

If you are uncomfortable being the person you are portraying yourself as every day or just occasionally or in certain company, you have the ability, the inclination and the power to stop. Stop and just be the person you are when no one else is looking. People will either accept you or not. If it’s the latter then they are no longer worthy of you. Fact.

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