Getting to know you

Those of you who followed ‘A Rediscovered Life’ will know I love singing and I love lyrics and they sometimes convey all the things we can’t. This morning this is racing round my head…..

🎶Getting to know you, Getting to know all about you. Getting to like you, Getting to hope you like me. Getting to know you, Putting it my way, But nicely, You are precisely, My cup of tea. Getting to know you, Getting to know all about you. Getting to like you, Getting to hope you like me. 

Getting to know you, Putting it my way, But nicely, You are precisely, My cup of tea. Getting to know you, Getting to feel free and easy When I am with you, Getting to know what to say. Haven’t you noticed Suddenly I’m bright and breezy? Because of all the beautiful and new Things I’m learning about you Day by day.🎶

How difficult is it to get to know the real someone and how difficult is it to let someone know you? I think as an adult it’s really difficult but not impossible and we should get ourselves out there in the land of awkward and uncomfortable and try it more often. We say hello and shake hands, exchange names and possibly what we do and then what? Some people just freeze at that point as they are really not sure what to say.

Being British we are quite reserved but being adults and humans I think we are also really poor at trusting and believing anothers story and we create a persona for them without finding out the truth.  So, you manage to get past the initial awkwardness and start to build a relationship but them you are traumatised with when to give them more personal information about you. How much to tell? How much can you trust? What if they reject you? What if this new piece of information goes against you and they leave? Seriously? If we lived like this every day; in fact if you do live like to every day STOP IT! 

There are times in your life when you have to lay yourself naked to someone (that is metaphorically – do not do this at a meeting or on a date) and allow them to see all that you are, warts and all. If they then move on to speak to someone else it really doesn’t matter, if you never see them again, it really doesn’t matter, if they go away with a vision that you were too much, too weird, too loud, too quiet etc, again so what. You won’t see them again and their opinion of you doesn’t count one bit. The people that count are the ones that stay. We cannot get on with everyone we meet.

There are times when your gut and sometimes your heart tell you that this person is worth lying naked on the floor for and you say what you see, you are open and honest, you share everything about who you are and what you have to give and yet they step over you and move to another. This hurts I know. It also tells you nothing about how they feel. The only indication this gives you is that maybe they need to process the information, maybe they aren’t in the same place emotionally as you, maybe they are but haven’t the words. It does not reflect on you. You have no control over their thoughts, feelings or actions but you do have control of how you react.  You can let them go, you can call after them, you can pursue them like a mad person or you can give them space to consider how they feel. None of which are easy if your gut is screaming that this needs to be, but they are necessary.

You can only ever give you. You should only ever give you. Be honest and true then wait. If you are meant to spend time and energy with this person, maybe doing business with them, creating a new friendship or a bond for life, it will happen with or without you worrying. If you never put yourself out in that uncomfortable world of meeting people and telling them who you are you will always be the kid alone in the playground. Step up and be uncomfortable it may make a real difference in your life.


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