If you are a regular to my world you will know my story and how it had to end as ‘a rediscovered life’. An end and a beginning in one small step. Ending it never signified the end of my story and in fact it heralded the beginning of a new one, a brighter one, a positive one. I have managed to attain an energy, some of which I have captured and kept to one side in case of a day where I feel I have less. How have I done this? Read on….
When the dark was really dark and my world was a black void of silence it was so powerful that even now I can feel it; dark, sticky, oppressive, painful to breath in, desperate to breathe out. I can taste the sourness, the bitterness, then nothing, no taste and the smell is like death, rotting food, an acrid smell of a burning fire. It is a good reminder for me of where I have come from and so it is bottled up but never to be released. I don’t need to open that particular bottle to know what it’s like but it’s a good one to get it off the shelf and show someone so they know it’s possible to capture it and begin again.
My days always feel positive, fun, happy, tasting of summer sun and chocolate and smelling like freshly laundered clothes and fresh flowers but there was a defining moment where I knew that this is how I wanted to feel for the rest of my days. I made a point of capturing that moment, the emotion, the excitement inside, the smells, the feelings, the power and I keep that with me every day but a small bit of that is tucked away just in case. It’s way more powerful than the darkest day so I know it will never be overpowered and it’s bright so will never be overshadowed by the dark and it’s scent is so beautiful it can cover any stench the dark day can emit.
Without dark we can’t have light but for me it’s best to keep the dark to a minimum and have my super power by my side; my little bottle of joy, of life, or serenity, of sunshine. So for me my story isn’t over, it’s just another page in the book that I have created during my lifetime. The chapter began with belief, confidence and with me finding me. My story lives in me and I implore people to read it, read me, talk to me, enjoy the words, the images, the brightness of the pages. Some may sometimes need to hear me read aloud the previous chapters to understand where this chapter began and that’s fine with me. I like sharing as it gives them perspective like it gave me life. To think that place could give birth to such sunshine and brightness is nearly impossible to believe but your story is never over till you decided to add the last full stop and I refuse to do this